What to Respect When NOT Expecting Kickstarter project

How many of you have had awkward encounters with people regarding your infertility? Whether it's the "helpful" advice like "just relax", the clueless suggestions like "maybe you're not 'doing' it right" or the downright rude statements about "maybe God just doesn't want you to have children" anyone who has been trying to conceive for longer than 6 months is bound to have experienced one of these.

Sometimes the worst are the comments from people who have no idea that you are trying or how long you've been trying. As an overweight woman who happens to carry a larger percentage of her weight in her abdomen, I have had multiple encounters that go like this:

At a party:

I meet a few people, and while chatting with one new person--

Stranger:  So, when are you due?

Me:          Oh, I'm not pregnant, just fat.

Stranger:  I'm so sorry! It's just your dress/you look like you are/I just thought


I have had many other variations, some a little more vague, but I think the worst is when someone starts with "Can I ask you something?"  which is usually followed by a much more direct question "are you pregnant?"   I think I hate these the most, because it is so obvious that they are unsure about whether or not I am, but disregard any instincts they might have about whether the question will hurt my feelings in favor of their burning curiosity.

As a young, single woman, these questions hurt mostly my self-esteem.  As a married woman unable to conceive, it was like another stinging reminder of my failures.

One of my worst encounters was shortly after I discovered I was miscarrying.  A very congenial man I met at the mailbox asked me if I was expecting.  I very calmly said "not anymore."  I was so angry before I encountered him, I had sworn to myself I would let the next person who asked that know how rude and insensitive it was, but he was so nice I couldn't bring myself to it.


If you have had encounters like these, and would like to contribute, follow the link to join the project. The author is also accepting submissions of stories for the book. The intention is to provide support to couples new to infertility as well as a guide for family and friends of what NOT to say to infertile couples.

I think it sounds great and can't wait for it to print.

Awesome acupuncture herbs!

So, I've been going to acupuncture for a few months now. I LOVE it! I'm not going to lie, sometimes the needles hurt, but I usually feel amazing after the treatment is done.

I tried doing the real herbs, making decoctions, but I just wasn't sticking with it. I'd make them, drink one cup, but usually not get around to the rest. I finally told my acupuncturist I should stick to the herbal pills. They are these little round bb size pills--I usually take 8 per dose. She finally convinced me to try the herbs again...I don't mind the flavor as much. She may have added some to make the taste better, or maybe I just don't mind it as much.

I am hopeful we will find the best solution soon to achieve pregnancy.

Update on To Conceive Product....

I have been using the ToConceive product intermittently for the last few months. My first month using it, I had what seemed to be a yeast infection or some other cause of vaginal itchiness shortly after starting.  I cannot say for sure that it was the cause, I did not have problems later.


Although the product instructs to use every day, and additional use prior to baby-dancing, I have been reluctant to use past ovulation. I know this is most likely my paranoia that causes me to even be cautious with certain pain meds or almost anything that is not recommended for pregnancy though. I have mostly been using it prior to intercourse during my fertile period, so THAT could explain why it hasn't been effective up to this point.

I actually kind of like using it at first, because it's kind of tingly.  I need to start using it daily again. Should I get my miracle BFP it's easy to stop.

I'll give you more updates later!

PMS from HELL!

Updates on my cycle. Last cycle that started in May lasted 21 days! Not quite in the healthy range, but getting there!  My last two cycles I seem to have ovulation symptoms, but no clear temporal shift. I believe the May 2013 cycle was due to inconsistent temping.  This cycle, I had ONE missed temp, but it appeared to be right when I think I ovulated. I appear to have a bi-phasic pattern, but it doesn't show ovulation on FF. I think it is because the increase in my temps is barely one to two-tenths above my "pre-O" pattern.  They seem to hover right in that range, with a few that spike higher.

The problem is that where I think I may have ovulated, my last BD was so far away...If on CD17, it is -3 ovulation, but with that one temp missing it is hard to say. Plus, if it is actually on CD18, we're a -4 and that's stretching it.

BUT, I'm already at CD26, with no AF! I did have some very slight spotting on CD 24/25--I though for sure AF was coming, especially with that temp dip, but then she didn't and my temp is up today.  I can't help but be a bit manic in my hope that this is a positive sign. I'm obsessing like I did in the good ol' TTC days. I wonder if that could have been implantation? I've had funny twinges in my pelvis, but I can never trust those as with my IBS it is more likely gas/constipation than anything related to reproduction.

My nipples have been very hard lately. Although often they will take turns, one nipple hard as rock, the other flat as a deflated balloon. And sore to the touch. Today I just felt some burning in my left nipple.  And I've had darker veins on my breasts/chest and shoulders, but that happens often.

Well, fingerscrossed this is a positive, because I've been in the darkest mood of my life the last two days and I don't think I can take it anymore!

Guest Review: Baby Needs: Wants vs. Needs

 

 Hello all! I've been de-anting my computer and focusing on work, so I'm very behind in updates. Today I have a guest post from a fellow blogger, Katie Moore, who writes on her blog
Moore From Katie.  Katie wanted to offer my readers who may be first-time moms (or mommys-in-waiting) some tips about where you can scrimp on things for baby and what's worth it to splurge on.  Reading some of her posts, I think she has an ability to expand on what most people may expect or know for mommyhood, and has several useful tips.

I definitely know many of you going through various ART treatments and with increased expenses to achieve pregnancy may appreciate a tip on how to save once your long-awaited little one arrives.

So, if you are the type of TTCer who loves to build your nursery and layette in anticipation of your little miracle, read on! If you're more like me, and like to hedge your bets, this could be a very informative article on what to splurge on when you do achieve live birth.  So, fair warning, if you've just gotten a negative HPT or AF has arrived for the millionth time, maybe save this article for another day!

Baby Needs: Wants vs. Needs

When it comes to having a baby, outfitting a nursery is only the first step in providing your child everything he or she needs. Figuring out what you need in preparation for your little one can be a struggle, especially on your wallet!  Everyone has different priorities, but by following a few tips it's possible to make sure you have what you need and where you can save a few dollars!

Save: Baby Designed Laundry Detergent

There are definitely some items that a mother may initially think she needs because of advertisements and advice from other parents that are not worth the money spent.  Baby specific laundry detergent is one of these items.  Many companies are trying to promote expensive detergent and claim it is gentler on a baby's skin.  As long as you buy fragrance free detergents, or sensitive skin detergents, your baby's clothes should be fit for them to wear.  Many of my friends even decided to go the DIY route and make their own laundry detergent.  You can find many recipes online that are effective, and keep money in your wallet!

Save: Baby Clothes

Another item not to break the bank on is baby clothes.  While we all want our babies to look adorable and be dressed following the latest baby trends, babies grow rapidly and clothing tends to only fit for a few weeks to a few months!  Because of this rapid turnover, there are always baby clothes to be found from friends who also recently had babies. Drop in at area garage sales to try and find clothes for your little one. Shopping full-priced retail outlets can get expensive, so think cheap and score deals where you can!

Splurge: Cord Blood Banking

One of the most important things you can give your child is access to their own cord blood stem cells later in life.  Banking cord blood involves collecting the blood remaining in your baby’s umbilical cord after birth and storing it in a private cord blood bank.  Stem cells from cord blood are used today in certain treatments and as research continues to advance, these cells could hold the key to treating other certain illnesses.  Make sure to do your research and ask your doctor about the cord blood banking.

Splurge: High Quality Camera

Another priceless gift that you can give your child is purchasing a high quality camera.  Babies grow up amazingly fast and having a camera to document the growth will preserve the memories for you and allow your child to see photos of their childhood after they have grown.  Buy a lightweight camera that you can carry with you anywhere so you are sure not to miss a single memorable moment with your child.  Make sure that it can fit in your diaper bag and don't be shy about using it.

Katie Moore has written and submitted this article. Katie is an active blogger who discusses the topics of, motherhood, children, fitness, health and all other things Mommy. She enjoys writing, blogging, and meeting new people! To connect with Katie contact her via her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter, @moorekm26

Natural Hypothyroidism Treatment

So, last night I was trolling Pinterest, looking for fertility related stuff. I was getting kind of frustrated, because having been studying methods to address infertility for the last 5-6 years, much of the pins seemed basic.

So, I thought about looking for pins to address the specific issues I know I am struggling with.  I found a very interesting pin related to how to treat hypothyroidism naturally.

Some of the claims I want to believe, but also want to check out (that we can get addicted to thyroid medication) although I'm inclined to believe. I continually struggle with knowing the dietary options that are healthy for me, and wanting to eat stuff I like.  Lately, I HAVE noticed when I consume bread, SUGAR, soda, processed food, etc that I feel like junk.  I guess if you are what you eat, and you eat junk food, you feel like junk.

I have been checking out a Paleo diet and I think it may fit many of my dietary needs. But that is a different post. Right now I'm addressing various natural ways of dealing with hypothryoidism.

They site I found was Healthwyze.org.  They give a detailed introduction to explain the reasons to attempt natural balancing of the thyroid, why synthetic medication will lead to dependence, and then lists the various actions one can take to improve thyroid function.

There are several, but the ones I want to highlight are the actions I have been contemplating for various reasons anyway, and seem the most likely culprits to my thyroid issue.

1. Avoid Fluoride. 
1. Yes, the stuff that makes toothpaste work. But fluoride is also present in most municipal tap waters as well. And yet again, Soda gets another strike against it. Apparently, even non-stick cookware leaches fluoride into food.
2. Coconut Oil.
1. The recommended method is to consume 1 tsp daily. Or it can be used as an oil/butter replacement. Of course, it is recommended to get unrefined, cold-pressed, organic coconut oil.
3. Absolutely no soy.
1. If you are thinking "that's no big deal, I'm not into tofu" better check the ingredients in your pantry. I find since soy is a common allergen, you can cheat by looking at that list of allergens on the ingredient list. But it is in a surprising number of processed foods.
4. Check for Iodine deficiency. 
1. Please be clear on the process and do not consume iodine by mouth.  The article suggests the 12 hour test. Place a circle of 2% Iodine on your stomach the size of a silver dollar.  If the iodine stain disappears completely in 12 hours, you are NOT deficient. If it still remains, keep using this treatment until the iodine disappears in 12 hours
2. Also, check the Healthwyze.org article for other natural sources of iodine.
5. Balance your Estrogen levels.
1. Ensure to eat only non-organic meat and no dairy.
2. Follow other recommendations in the article.
6. Don't get overwhelmed!

Upon examination, the list of recommendations is daunting. But I am posting the ones I think most important to attempt. I'm not going to hold myself to such a high standard that if I eat one think incorrect I will see myself as barren forever. But I will remember the guidelines, and seek to correct at least one of these daily.

I hope to see a change soon!.

Acupuncture update...

I've been going to acupuncture for about 2 months now. I really enjoy going, although the needles are occasionally painful, sometimes a lot, I generally feel AMAZING afterwards. As my post in April or so showed, I did start ovulating, but after awhile I was only having 15 day cycles before I had a light flow.  This last cycle I dedicated to taking the herbal pill formulations and saw my cycle extend to 20 days or so.  Also, very little to no spotting before hand.  So, it seems I'm going in the right direction.

Also, my 5th nephew was born on Sunday! I went to see my sister with the family the last two days, and he's darling.  I even took my Sis to his first newborn appt.

I also am developing a good friendship with a woman at work who offered to be my surrogate! It was so generous, but looking into the cost, it doesn't seem possible. We are just now getting more comfortable about whether we'll meet all our bills each month, but with very poor credit, I can see no way to afford the legal and IVF fees required.  Also, even with a gestational surrogate, it is a difficult choice for many reasons.


I'm looking forward to what the acupuncture will hold.