Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms VII

14DPO--Tested before leaving Texas this morning with Clearblue Easy Early Result Digital...BFN :( Oddly, as soon as I left for WA my symptoms started getting worse. Today a LOT of increased saliva, nipples more sore than this weekend, a little itchy, and tender breasts above armpits. Had a sleepless night, but don't know if the fatigue is based on that, or travelling or what. Also, bleeding gums, slight metallic taste in mouth.

My psychic reading from Cheri22

So a few girls on the board have mentioned getting predictions from a baby psychic to see when they might conceive etc. I got a pretty in-depth prediction from Cheri22 but I'll only put part of it here.

"Thanks for being patient with me while I got back to your reading. I am seeing you with a BOY and they relate him to JUNE so this is either conceive month, birth month or the month you find out in.

When it comes to your son, they are showing him as someone who is patient, very kind. A bit on the quiet side and is not one to get overly excited over things. he tends to keep his emotions more in words than showing them.  He's got brown colored hair."

What's weird is DH, when we were first dating had a "vision" of our little boy in the corner of his room. It kinda freaked me out because we definitely weren't that serious yet, but now it has me thinking, maybe God is trying to tell us something. Insh'allah.

I really, really, hope that all these BFNs are just too early and sometime next week I'll get a nice BFP. If I do not get one tomorrow before I leave Texas, I think I'll wait until Friday. If no AF before then, I'll just test again, and MAYBE see my awaited BFP.

If not, hopefully June will be our month to conceive. Otherwise, if Cheri is right it could be September before I conceive, which would be quite poetic as that will be 2 years of TTC. 

Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms VII

Sorry, I flew to Texas on Friday, haven't exactly had access to a computer when I want it.

So Friday (11DPO)--BFN, still having burning glands, especially in breasts next to armpits, exhaustion, sharp pains in stomach, constipation/diarrhea, and some others, but I don't think I felt it much due to traveling.

Saturday 12DPO--BFN (on a FRER) and starting to despair. Suddenly my symptoms are abandoning me. I sometimes will get sore gums, sometimes I'll also get excessive salivation, usually need to go to bed earlier. But not as strong or frequently. My "I just feel pregnant" mood seems to be dying.

Sunday 12DPO--BFN (on FRER) DH had to kick me out of bed at noon and was still really tired. I had gone to bed at 11PM also, so that's at least 12 hours sleep. Energy ok, but an undercurrent of tiredness. Still sore nipples (but only vaguely) and sore breasts near underarms. Also, constipation, dull pains in stomach on both sides, very hungry but get full very quickly. Have this sense of fullness too. Sore gums have returned...only vaguely painful but definitely constant. My mood has changed to sometimes still thinking I *could* be pregnant and other times feeling like I'm out this month.

But that's okay, because my doctor FINALLY took me off of my anti-psychotic! So, inshallah, we'll have a good strong ovulation in June that we can time BD around.

Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms VI

11DPO--Ok, I know I shouldn't have tested, but I have so many, and I didn't mind wasting a dip strip...sadly BFN, but I'm just biding my time. This morning energy is ok, but my glands are still on fire. Gassy still (every day since about 7DPO). Weepy. I don't know why but music seems to make me cry more than anything. But Mamma Mia??? Last night as I went to bed I had sharp pains in my abdomen but I think these were also glands as they feel the same as the ones under my arms and neck and all over. I also feel very hungry but seem to get full fast.

Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms V

10DPO--Okay, so I cracked and I tested this morning because yesterdays developments were so promising. Still a BFN :(
But this morning, some more promising symptoms. I'm tired because I forced myself to stay up until 11:30. This morning I was ravenously hungry, I'm feeling a little dizzy/shaky, and the glands in my breasts next to my armpits are burning/throbbing. After my BFN I was a little down, but now I'm totally back to my certainty that I am preggers, it is just that my tests aren't showing it yet. The armpit thing is starting to hurt actually. I think when I go pick up my Rx at the pharmacy I'm going to buy whatever pregnancy tests are on sale (unless it's the blue dye ones, yuck). If there isn't a good deal on a good one I might just get the creme de la creme, First Response Early Result (FRER).  Wish me luck and I'll keep you posted.

**UPDATE*** All day I was shaky/dizzy, especially if I walked to fast. I left work early sick because I was feeling too icky. My glands all over my body are on fire, the ones under my arms (next to breasts) are the worst, I feel them all day, sometimes quite painfully. Throughout the day I would feel burning in glands all over my body, predominately neck and arms, late at night sharper pains in abdomen, but I really think though it was glands deep down, because they had the same burning feeling. I seem to have food aversion...but mostly meat...I really LOVED the grilled cheese pita and I ate the salad but mostly because I should. But even though I'm super hungry I feel full really quickly.

Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms Part IV

9DPO--FF now says that 13% of women report positive HPTs at this stage. Great, AFTER I peed. But I told myself to wait until Friday. Maybe. If FF reports 25% or more on Thursday I might try another O test. I'm using those because I only have six HPTs left and so I don't mind wasting an O test so early (because it is unlikely I'll see a positive anyway even if I am preggers) Go to Peeonastick.com to see their research on how to use an OPK as an HPT Just perused this and now it says OPKs aren't as sensitive as HPTs...Oh great, I could have been positive and the OPK wouldn't have sensed it!

So to the symptoms! I just got up, so slight headache, a little bit of a sore throat and I'm going to say frequent urination because last few days, every morning I wake up my bladder is SUPER full, so much that it is painful. Also, for yesterday I went to bed at 11PM very tired. I probably could have gone to bed earlier, but didn't feel tired until 11PM. Also, this morning, really randomly emotional again. I was listening to my Glee Soundtrack (hee!) and when I was listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart, I was really getting into it and I started crying. Even on the way to work I was singing some of it and I started crying again. I'm not usually this tearful.

So throughout the day gassy, sometimes crampy, sore throat, cough, and stuffy/runny nose. I was worried about the cough because I thought that wasn't commonly listed, however a lot of women believe that they have a cold/flu but are really pregnant.

Well, I came home and did TWO HPTs. I did one IC (Internet Cheapie) but it had a weird mark right where the test line is, so I decided to do a digi in case it is invalid. Came up NOT PREGNANT :( But that's ok, I'm only 9DPO so I still could be.

Well today the fatigue set in around 1:15 as I was going to my psychiatrist appointment. I told him about my symptoms and he seemed optimistic. He asked what I wanted and I said I wanted to stop the anti-psychotic all together. Because if I'm pregnant, I need to stop it anyway. If I'm NOT pregnant, this will ensure that I ovulate more regularly.

I went for a walk with a friend and after I came home I had to put on some cream and the veins in my BBs were SOOO dark. Not as dark as I'd like, but I've been monitoring them and before I had to look for them and today I could SEE them with no problem.

Also, I started feeling REALLY tired. Like I could take a nap, no problem and when I was walking I was feeling very dizzy. I thought it could be because of walking in the mall, because I've had an issue over the holidays where I would feel closed in or dizzy while I was at the mall.

Also, excess saliva and my nipples now are sore without my touching them. They feel both bruised and burning, like they're on fire, and sometime itchy. And I don't know if it is possible to already have pregnancy brain but I'm having a hard time finding words or completing sentences. My attention just drifts. Still slightly emotional.

I almost want to test tomorrow...I think I'll try to hold out till Friday though and then test every day until Monday/BFP/AF....whichever comes first. And if no BFP/AF I suppose I'll have to buy more HPTs! Maybe the good digis will be on sale again!

Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms Part III

Ok, so I thought I'd just keep a running list here and add to it throughout the day so that I don't forget anything.

8DPO--Gassy throughout the day, ok as far as energy early on, but started to have onset of fatigue around 3:30PM-4:00PM. Woke up with stuffy nose, sore throat and had a headache by the time I reached work. After lunch some stomach upset, but nothing major. This morning had a yucky taste in my mouth and by 3PM started having excessive salivation. Also a sore throat in the morning, needed  a cough drop to sooth. Around 3PM sore throat started coming back and had a runny nose. Feeling a lot of sinus pressure. Continued to have sore nips, sometimes they feel sort of burning pain, like they are very mildly sunburnt. I also have mild nausea...really more of an upset stomach but for no reason. I'd understand if I overate or if I had some fried food but it's just a burning in the pit of my stomach. By the afternoon had a breakout of about 4 pimples but over the weekend DH commented on how nice my skin looked.

Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms Part II

So, fiddling with the tuning on my FF still gives me crosshairs.  Over the weekend I have had some additional IPS.  Saturday and Sunday (5 & 6 DPO) I started having a lot of fatigue. In addition, sore bb, cramps, frequent urination, headache, dizziness, sore gums, slight metallic taste, and heartburn. Also, on 6DPO when I went to bed (at midnight) I felt as scraping sort of cramp in my uterus (like getting a pap). Also very emotional. It was different from my usual tww. Usually I'm Superbitch, just really irritable lots of mood swings. This time, I'm just sad and I cry at random things sometimes. I had a breakdown Sunday, DH and I were just playing/wrestling and I just suddenly start crying. He didn't know what happened and I just kept saying "I'm so stupid." I had just had a dip in my chart that removed my CH and I was so disappointed because I just KNEW I was pregnant. I felt like an idiot for believing it when I wasn't.

Today (7 DPO) started getting a sore throat, headache and possible nasal drainage/some sinus pressure. Also a bit gassy, today gums much more sore and metal taste really strong, but a little bit less fatigue.
I had to go to bed by 10:15PM I was so tired.
Keep you posted! I'm very tempted to test Wednesday because I'm supposed to go see my psychiatrist and he did want me to keep him posted. Perhaps I'll have happy news or perhaps not.

Week 2 Weight Watchers

So, weighed in at WW last Saturday with great results. I lost 5.4 lbs! I know in the first week it is mostly water weight so I fully expect to have lost less next time. I don't think I'll be able to weigh in next Saturday so I might have to just wait to go until 2 Saturdays from now.

Our Bodies are Cruel

I hate TTC. If you ever meet a woman that is TTC, just know that she is certifiably insane when it comes to her body. She's going to over-analyze every hiccup, temp change, or anything out of the ordinary. Suddenly indigestion isn't just indigestion...it's morning sickness. And all the symptoms that tell a woman she's on her way to her period...those are all pregnancy symptoms, cause you know what? Those usually are the earliest preggo symptoms.

So this morning my temperature continued to steadily dive. This morning was 97.66 well below my supposed coverline. But that didn't stop me from analyzing every small thing that happened to me. I suppose I could really be allergic to soy like some women on my forum suggested. Although I only had 1 symptom of it (excessive itching) and possibly mouth tingling, but it's really more sore gums with a metallic taste.

And THAT is what gets me. Although not common, a metallic taste in the mouth and sore gums are very much associated with pregnancy. I don't get it. My bb's are still sore-ish, my mouth still tastes funny and my gums are still sore. I wonder how I tell if I'm truly allergic to soy? I suppose I'd have to go to the doctor.

I'm now going to torture myself by watching all of the baby shows on TLC. I'll update on my WW later. I think it will be good, but I don't go for another 2.5 hours.

Early Pregnancy Symptoms/Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms

There's a fine line between early pregnancy symptoms (EPS) and imaginary pregnancy symptoms (IPS). And that line is the test line on your pregnancy tests. Yes, nature is cruel, and often the same (or similar) symptoms a woman experiences prior to her period are the same as symptoms prior to pregnancy. Especially for a TTCer who as she starts the 2WW (two week wait) is susceptible to slight changes in her body.

With that said, for my first official 2WW I'm going to present a list of my EPS/IPS by DPO:

DPO2-3:
  --Random itching of my body. At first I just noticed it on the back of my arm behind my arm-pit, the inside of my arm near my wrist and my scalp.    
  --Slightly more frequent urination but I wasn't sure if that was because I started drinking more water (but not more than I used to before two weeks ago)
DPO3:
  --I also started to notice at 3PM a distinct metallic taste in my mouth. Kind of like I sucked on a quarter and had taken it out a full minute...not super strong, but definitely a metallic taste.
  --Also had the itching in the same areas.
  --Around 10:30PM I suddenly noticed sore gums. I reached for the floss, but realized it was ALL of my gums, not just around a certain tooth. I flossed anyway and they bled a little.
  --Still slightly more frequent urination.
DPO4:
  --Continued itching in random places, with an increase in itching. I am now itching (at different times) inside my ears, sides of my fingers, palms, toes, soles of feet, small parts of legs, waist, back, parts of breast, back of armpit, and parts of my face including my nostrils and inside corners of my eyes (something about the orifices it seems). Now my upper lip, eyebrows, and neck.
  --This morning my gums bled when I brushed my teeth and they are still sore.
  --Metallic taste continues, though slightly less in the afternoon.
  --Slightly more frequent urination. I usually only have to urinate about 4 times a day at work, and now it's just about every hour. Sometimes I have to hold it if there is a group, but if it gets bad enough I'll use the client bathroom.
  --Starting to have very slightly sore nips. More like they are bruised?
  --The coup de grace! Spotting on my toilet paper when I came home. I have been thinking that this is all INSANELY early to be having this degree of symptoms and what seems (to me) to be severe. Then I thought, "wouldn't you know I'd have implantation spotting today too" My eyes nearly bugged out when I saw that red on the toilet paper!

**Update** After dinner I'm starting to feel a little more tired than normal (it's only 9PM) and I don't know WHAT I am smelling. Some subtle chemical smell...I really just wish I could recognize what the smell is...**end**

That's where I am for now. I leave for Texas In a week. I am going to test Friday morning (5/28) unless FF has moved/removed my crosshairs or AF shows. Memorial Day will be 14 DPO, but I don't know if I want to wait until then...it'd be kind of nice if it were positive before I left and I could decide how to tell my family. I was really wanting to wait to tell them but it would be SO great to get to tell them in person as they live a whole 2,000 miles away or something. And I know you read this sometimes Mom, but I don't know how often so don't worry and don't say anything to anyone because it's just as likely that I'm not and I'm just finally having enough progesterone in my system to give me different PMS symptoms.


But maybe not. And that's what get's me. And I now FULLY understand those POAS-aholics on the forums....I know 4DPO would be INSANELY early to get a positive on an HPT (though I did see a girl with a positive at 5DPO) I have so many HPTs that I'm telling myself I could just go through one a day until Friday and STILL have some leftover. I think, it's been awhile since I counted them.

The wait begins...

Chart signs and possible pregnancy symptoms..perplexing

Well, this was my first cycle trying both Soy and the CBEFM. I used Soy CD 5-9. I started getting high readings on CBEFM around CD8 along with watery CM. I had a temp dip on CD9 and now have had three successive high temps! FF is tentatively saying I O'd (dotted CH) but my CP has been either low or medium. And I know this is probably IPS because I'm only 3DPO (if I did O CD9), but today around 3 I started having a metallic taste in my mouth (still do) and now around 10:30PM my gums are sore. I started to reach for the floss thinking I have something stuck but it's my whole gums. The taste is so bad I want to eat to get rid of it but will screw up my Weight Watchers. I'm trying not to get my hopes up but I have heard recently that metallic taste in the mouth and sore gums can be a pregnancy symptom. I guess I'm just going to temp each day and continue testing on the CBEFM until it either reads Peak or Low again. I did a few tests on FF and even if my temp goes low and stays low it just moves the coverline (although I didn't test if the temp goes lower than my "O" temp....but I was afraid to find out!) Now with these symptoms I really want my temps to stay up. Plus, CD8 was the ONLY night DH and I have DTD this cycle. Crazy, right?

I got a High fertility rating!

So for the last two days my CBEFM showed high fertility! :) We did BD on Sunday, but I don't think we'll be able to anytime soon as DH has hurt his back :(

We shall see.

Week 1 Weight Watchers

So, I did say I would post pics along the way. I don't think I'll post pics every week just along the way to show my progress. Maybe every ten pounds or so.

Starting weight: 238 lbs

Starting weight: 238 lbs

Still have 7 pts left. Maybe if I'm hungry later I'll have a popsicle or three.

Joined Weight Watchers (for the third time)!

Let's hope third times the charm, right? Mostly, I joined because my friend D recently joined and would like some support to talk about the plan and how we're doing on it. Being a WW veteran I could have easily used my materials at home and done all of the process, but you know, I like meetings. It's the little attention-seeker in me that loves to say "Look at me, I lost .5 lbs this week!" I just love the pats on the back and sharing good tips with others.

Also, I feel that I can help support my friend along the way if she knows that I'm going to be saying, now you missed the meeting this week, what's up? And hopefully I'll get the same from her.

Ultimately my goal would be to reach goal weight and achieve lifetime membership. BUT since right now my primary goal is to be at a healthy weight for when I eventually become pregnant, I think I'd be happy with losing about 4o lbs. Which is a tall order.

Later I'll change into slimming clothes and have DH take some before shots of me and to keep me accountable I will also post my weights. I'm thinking of also taking my measurements.

My starting weight is: 238.0 lbs (eep!) I have a whopping 29 DAILY points that I can eat...that's a lot really. As I lose the program will get harder and harder, so I think I may take advantage of the 29 daily points to ease myself into the program.

I think I may set my first goal at 195 lbs. Because any weight loss would be a healthier weight to start a pregnancy, but I think to be below 200 would be the best. And I'll have to do some soul-searching to see if I want to hold off on the TTC until I've lost 20 lbs or so. Or do I just want to do the program and cancel it should I then become pregnant? I have started soy and that may or may not work, but who knows, if it doesn't, I may have a long while on the WW bandwagon to get to the healthiest starting weight possible.

Starting soy treatment already!

So yesterday I started my first soy treatment. I almost forgot to take two pills to make sure I was getting at least 80mg. For this first cycle I'll be taking 80mg for five days starting CD5-CD10.

And today was my first test for the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor (CBEFM). I wasn't sure when it would ask me to test, but last night I opened up my new box of tests, just in case. At first when I put it in I was wondering if I put it in wrong and went to get the manual. It just took so long to read it, but the manual said at least 5 minutes. It gave a low reading which I totally expected.

Now the trick will be timing BD, but not letting DH know that we're BDing because I'm ovulating....hmmm, tricky.

Ovulation Video...last one I promise!

This is hilarious. I don't know what Centea sells, but I want it!

Ovulation Celebration Video at Early Pregnancy Tests.com

OMG! I just saw this and had to share. It kind of lags on the chorus but the verses are hi-lar-ious! Also, the flying BBT and the FertilAid ridden like a bull crack me up! This is a very funny ad for TTC products at www.early-pregnancy-tests.com

The Silver Lining

So....my fertility signs have been super confusing. After my positive OPK, I have had a continually high cervix and sore nips. CM stayed kind of wet but mostly creamy/sticky.  And my temps have not been cooperating at all.

Today looks like it might be the nail in the coffin....Spotting. When I checked my cervix I had brownish and very red spotting. Also a HUGE temp drop. If I DID O when my OPK said I did, I would only be 6DPO. In desperation I can hope that this is implantation. But my heart tells me this is it...AF is sending her calling card and I will start another cycle.

The silver lining to this is now I get to start using the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor! It's odd that I was kind of hoping not to be pregnant so I could use a device that will help me get pregnant. But the little bit of hope in me is going to wait for Full Red Flow before I start cycle CD1 on either fertility Friend OR the CBEFM.

The Waiting Game

So, did I O? Did I not O? Only time (and temps) will tell. My temps have been less than cooperative. Any day I keep looking for that spike to confirm the production of progesterone signaling the beginning of the two week wait. This might be worse than the two week wait. I feel like I've been "waiting to O" for over a year now and even with an instrument that predicts O I'm NOT O'ing. *sigh*

If we look at the two teams--O team and Not O team they're fairly evenly matched. On the O team they have a positive OPK while very encouraging is not infallible. Also, I've been having major mood swings (poor DH), and increasingly sore bbs (they also feel heavy). Plus around the day of my positive OPK I just *know* I was having mittleschmerz (O pain) on my left side.

On the Not O team there is basically my temps. I am in a love/hate relationship with temping because I love that I have a tool that can generally tell me whether ovulation has occurred. It's a scientific fact that a rise in progesterone corresponds with a rise in waking temperature. I hate temping because although I know I have this big barrier to my O I still get my hopes raised when I see the random high temp. All temping gives me is a basic anovulatory chart. Boo. since my OPK my temps have more or less stayed the same or gone DOWN. I was hoping yesterdays was an Ovulation Dip, however, today's temp only rose .09 degrees. WTF? That's not even close to the type of rise needed to confirm O.

I just looked up in my fertility bible, Taking Charge of Your Own Fertility by Toni Weschler, that a slow rise is confirmed by a temp that is one-tenth above the previous six low temps and then continues to rise a tenth of a degree. Sadly, my chart is not even that.

My one positive thought is that the day of my positive OPK I had forgotten to take my anti-psychotic the night before. I know it may not necessarily be related to that but if just ONE day without it (at such a low dose) could help the LH to surge then I'm much more confident that when I'm am off the med altogether I will be SURE to achieve ovulation. Also, my psychiatrist felt much more confident that the anti-psychotic was causing elevated levels of prolactin because just two weeks at a half-dose radically changed my sleeping patterns.

*sigh* I think no more of this today. No more forums (for now) instead I think I'll finish The Amazing Race and watch my episode of Biggest Loser!

Possible O!! **Updated**

OMG! I was having lots of high fertility signs (watery CM, VERY high, soft cervix) and so Saturday I knew I had just ONE O-test left in the house. I decided to test it and when I looked at it it was SO close to positive I wasn't sure if it was or not.

Here's a pic:

The test line (on the right) is just a shade lighter than the control line. I had stopped testing because around CD29 the test showed almost no test line and I thought I was a bust for this cycle. Then I started to take Fertility Blend and having high fertility signs.  I even felt O pain yesterday, on my left side!

I would have tested again around 8PM, but we were going over to see some friends. After we got home, it was kinda late (11:40PM) but I tested anyway with some O-tests I bought at Walgreens. It was negative, but I did have somewhat diluted urine and it was late in the day. The test instructions usually say not to test after 10PM.

I think before we go out to the pet store I'll see if I can test again.  Looking at my chart I had a HUGE dip about 3 days ago and have had a steady increase back up to baseline today. I'm keeping fingerscrossed that the temp keeps rising. Though I think since I still have very wet CM, O pains yesterday, and so on that perhaps I am O'ing today. We'll see. Click the banner above with the butterfly to view my chart and take the ovulation poll!

I'll keep you posted with new developments!

**Update**  So I did another test today and I got a positive! I labeled it wrong, it's supposed to be CD36 instead of CD35

But that's a beautiful positive! I can't believe it but now I am finally in the