Hmmm...interesting chart pattern

So, I keep getting "faked out" by what seems to be an early O---low temps after period ends, then a huge spike that seems like I have O'd much earlier than I usually do. It's happened so often, that when my temp spiked 3 days ago, I took it for granted. But then I thought....hmm, I wonder if this pattern could give me a heads up to when I might O!

So I created an overlay of "average" charts and I did identify a pattern.



I identified the highest temp that spiked after AF and before O. (circled in red) You'll see that of the 4 cycles I identified, the highest temp spike occured 5-7 days before O was identified. So, with that logic, looking at my current cycle...



It looks like if O could be 6-7 days from now, it could occur CD13-14 (Sat Mar 3or Sun Mar 4). If that is the case, then if we make sure to BD starting today and for the next 5 days, we could easily catch O! We'll see if my theory holds true! Either way, I'll still be using my CBEFM to track it.

Oops! Some things I missed.

So, I was looking at the spoon provided by Bee Fertile again, and I realized that the small line around the bowl of the spoon, about a 1/4 in from the top was to mark the 1/2 tsp mark, and the full spoon marked the full 1 tsp or 5 ml. I think I mistook 5 ml as equal to 1/2 tsp. So it is an excellent tool if you want to measure 1/2 tsp OR a full tsp. I'll post a similar correction in my Began Bee Fertile post later, but my computer is being borrowed and Blogger doesn't seem to work well on iPhone for editing.

 In other related news, I've noticed some changes to this part of the cycle. I had forgotten that for me, taking Royal jelly can really stabilize my mood, at least in the 1 week between AF ending and the beginning of my LP. Having a mood disorder, I'm so used to having my moods fluctuate greatly, and often with no rhyme or reason. With the Royal Jelly, I find that my mood changes are slower to change and less extreme. Although I have noticed an overpowering sense of nostalgia; any show I watch or song I hear makes me wistful and remember with great strength of emotion and a time when I felt like that in the past. Today it has progressed to a sort of weepiness, although when I am not overcome this way I feel at peace. I don't know if it is all the Royal Jelly contributing; I know Vitex has affected my moods in the past and there are other herbs in the Bee Fertile I haven't tried before.

 Also, very strange and vivid dream last night. I had bought a strange, but bulky, electronic HPT with a screen that showed the result in a pink plus sign. I decided to try it out, and I walked away before it was finished, convinced it would be negative. When I got back, ai found a pretty pink plus sign between 2 bars like this: |+| Then of course I had to verify the BFP since it was outside of the time limit, and I got a positive on the cheapie and a FRER. I knew it was a dream when I saw the dye strobing up the HPT in waves. There was more, but not relevant to most of the dream. Today I am very tired. Also, I have had heartburn since the beginning of this AF. I thought it was a period symptom, but as it is continuing each night, I wonder if it is the Cayenne or another ingredient in Bee Fertile. Time will tell.

 Disclaimer: These supplements were provided to me at no cost, but all opinions are my own.  Believe me, I will give you the good, bad and in-between with an unvarnished eye.

Royal Jelly Smoothie!

So, Friday I skipped my Royal Jelly dose, partly because I was in a hurry, and because I'm having an issue with the taste. I finally tried it in a smoothie, and yum! I have one of those "mini-blenders" that I can put just enough for one. So I throw in a few of may favorite fruits, a few cubes of ice, a spoon of peanut butter and almond milk. Yum! Of course, if you're smart and have frozen fruit, you can skip the ice! I think I'll love taking my RJ this way!

Otherwise, I've been having a huge rise in hormonal symptoms during my period. Breast tenderness, cramping, bloating, fatigue, etc....but as soon as my period stopped, I started feeling so much better! Perhaps this is just my body regulating on the Bee Fertile supplements and RJ, but I hope it stays stable. I've been riding the TTC rollercoaster so long, and I'd just like it to have a few less rises and dips.

Right now, CD5/6, period is gone and gearing up to ovulate. Will also use my CBEFM and maybe give the Sperm Meets Egg plan another shot!


Disclaimer: These supplements were provided to me at no cost, but all opinions are my own. Believe me, I will give you the good, bad, and in-between with an unvarnished eye.

Stupid craving! And other ways I convince myself I'm pregnant on my period.

Cravings. They get us every time. Many women have the traditional chocolate or potato chip craving (or chocolate covered potato chips, nom nom nom). For me, it is usually fried food. Often I will crave crab rangoon, my fave guilty pleasure at Chinese restaurants. This was mostly when I lived near a Chinese restaurant that I would pass every day on my way to work. Sometimes it's anything fried, and sometimes only the thing I crave will satisfy. Lately, I've been so off sweets when I'm not on my LP/AF, that it is only in my TWW or on my period that I actually enjoy chocolate or really sweet stuff.

The point of this, is that for some reason this LP, my body decided to give me a yen for ice cream sandwiches. Just the plain vanilla, ice cream sandwich. My mouth just started watering at the thought. And because this, and other symptoms have carried over OR increased into my period, I keep getting that niggling thought that says--"Maybe you're pregnant! Your flow is so light, it could be a really heavy IB. Remember your friend had that happen!" So let's look at the "I'm pregnant" vs. "I'm on my period" arguments.

For formatting sake, we'll start with:

Reasons I believe I am pregnant:

1. Continued, specific cravings for ONE sweet thing, while detesting all other sweets.
2. Loss of appetite/get full fast--I just don't want much. 
3. Fatigue/exhaustion
4. Flow is still on the lighter side. AF was later than I thought, and it takes a whole day to fill my menstrual cup.
5. Some heartburn at night (although I have IBS, this is a more uncommon symptom for me), as well as  small moments of nausea. Fleeting really.
6. Moments of boob pain and especially sharp pain in glands in the back of my arms.
7. Still have a frequent urge to pee.

Reasons why I'm on my period:

1. Craving something in particular is a VERY common period symptom for me.
2. Appetite change I am experiencing is very likely the result of the RJ and Bee Fertile Supplements
1. RJ often gives me loss of appetite, especially at first
2. Vitex/Chasteberry can  exacerbate my depression, often first seen through appetite changes, such as loss of appetite.
3. Fatigue--where to start?
1. Recently ill, unable to get adequate rest this weekend, went to bed late past 3 nights. 
2. Vitex--often causes fatigue as part of worsening potential depressive symptoms
4. Flow is still heavy enough to be my period. I've had recent cycles with varying flow. Also, not even a hint of  a positive on my pregnancy tests 2 days into my period (yes, you read it right, after)
5. I ate a LOT of junk food this weekend and some spicy. Heartburn has been quite light too. IBS is all funky, so, could be just that. Plus I have some weird painful pit in my stomach--I hope I don't have an ulcer. 
6. The logical explanation is that after my initial dip in progesterone, the remaining amount filtering out as my estrogen rises is continuing the occasional boob soreness and gland pain. Also, the RJ might be causing this, as I remember having early boob soreness lasting well into my period.
7. For 12 months now, my symptoms seem to intensify and/or change well into my period. I should know this is my pattern now.

Despite all of the 7 excellent and sensible reasons I have listed supporting that this is JUST another AF, I still have an urge to test. Because my last BFN was using afternoon urine. I guess we'll see what I do tomorrow!


Disclaimer: These supplements were provided to me at no cost, but all opinions are my own. Believe me, I will give you the good, bad, and in-between with an unvarnished eye.

Began my Bee Fertile

So, sad of course that it was CD 1 yesterday. But the grieving has been sped along by starting my Bee Fertile regimen! The way it works is you take the supplement pills that are a special blend of herbs and vitamins that research indicates increases fertility in women. Along with those you also take royal jelly/bee pollen/raw honey gel. It suggest all 4 pills in the morning or 2 in AM and 2 in PM. Since I'm already on an AM/PM regimen with my other meds, I decided to split the 4 into 2 and 2.

This Royal Jelly mix is different than others I have had. When I first started taking RJ, I read a lot of sites that said NOT to refrigerate, and others that say DO refrigerate. I decided to go with what the jar says. It said refrigerate, so I have. The suggestion is 1 tsp in the morning or a 1/2 tsp in the afternoon. The label is also extremely cautionary against getting water (or saliva I assume) into the RJ as this could breed bacteria that negate it's fertility powers. They provide a nice solid plastic spoon that is labeled for 1/2 tsp.* This is fine if you are going to take AM/PM, but this stuff I would rather just take all at once. So if I can't "double-dip" this means their spoon is worthless to me, unless I want to take the time to wash it, or spoon twice onto some other container. So, I just use a regular spoon that I know fits 1 tsp.



The taste is STRONG--I suspect it has higher concentrations of RJ and Bee Pollen than other gels I have taken. Also, refrigerating gives it a gritty texture instead of the smooth texture of un-refrigerated. Perhaps I'll start making a morning smoothie, so I don't have to taste it as much. It might also be a way to get DH to take it, as he is still quite resistant to it.

Anyway, just wanted to update...only day 2, so hard to know if any of what I am feeling is related to Bee Fertile, but I do get a familiar loss of appetite about 30 minutes after taking RJ. It doesn't stay strong all day, but I find I am not as hungry and am satisfied sooner. That might be extended if I took it twice per day instead of once.

*Update 2/29/12--I realized as I looked at the spoon that it is marked for 1/2 tsp to the inside line---the handle states that a full spoon is  1 tsp. So, you CAN use the 1 spoon for a whole dose.

Disclaimer: These supplements were provided to me at no cost, but all opinions are my own. Believe me, I will give you the good, bad, and in-between with an unvarnished eye.

Death and Birth in TTC

I think any of us who have been TTCing for more than 6 months have observed how the  ending of one cycle is like a death: Death to our hopes for achieving pregnancy this cycle, death as the bookmark matching the beginning of this cycle. And like death, there are last gasps representing the life of this cycle. The spotting that might begin for some, or onset of bloating. Perhaps a rise in their PMS symptoms--it can be unique to each woman and to each cycle, but we all generally know when it is over.

And yet, the same cramping pains that signal this cycle's death are also birthing our new cycle. Our new hope. Breaking down the elements of what was to build for the next cycle, the next attempt. Pardon the expression, but taking the manure of the old to enrich the field for the new.

OK, I know I'm being REALLY philosophical right now. I can't help it. The end of a cycle is to grieve. We mourn the loss of the possibility. My period hasn't quite started, but most of the signs are there. Intermittent light spotting, started progressing to red. As soon as I see that, I have to start acknowledging that it's over. But it is just. so. hard. I try not to get my hopes up, to be realistic, but even when I seem to have my feet planted firmly on the ground, I fall.

In the past I've tried to rush the grief ahead by looking forward to the next cycle. And while I especially am excited to start my Bee Fertile, it isn't without some bitterness. Especially since I feel tortured each menses by an increase in the symptoms I had so hoped were an indication that I had FINALLY achieved my goal.

Also, on a side note, I voluntarily offered to host my SIL's baby shower. I don't think I've attended one since I have started TTC. I wanted to go to one in WA for a very good friend, but as it neared I found I couldn't face the thought of sitting amongst other women, mostly strangers to me, and having to field questions about my own attempts to have a family. I usually am just blatantly honest, but I would hate to put a damper on my friends or SILs day. It is about them. I really hope my older SIL can be there to help, because otherwise I don't think I'll be able to keep it together. I went so far as enlisting my youngest SIL to support me. She's really understanding for a teen, and I might just have to give her some of the "baby games" to lead, and definitely responsibility to jot down the gifts and who they are from. I don't know what I was thinking!

Perhaps if I can ensure it is not at this point in my cycle, the beginning of a new one where I am at my lowest. I find it takes now to the end of my period or at least 5 days in for me to fully release the possibility of pregnancy and prepare for the cycle to come. As much as a new cycle is the birth of another possibility, it just hurts so much. 

I got my Bee Fertile in!!!!!

So, I came home after an awful end at work and found my Bee Fertile supplements had been delivered! I have the say, the packaging is very elegant....and I have an affinity for bees, since my name means Honeybee. So here are the pics!

Outside of Women's System


3 months of the vitamins and supplements, plus 3 months of Royal Jelly/Bee Pollen mixture.

Royal Jelly/Bee Pollen for DH



This I got because DH is not one for taking supplements, but I might cajole him into this.  So, the plan is to start the system when my next period comes, which should be by this weekend!

Although, as my last post suggest, I am pretty hopeful this cycle!


Disclaimer: These supplements were provided to me at no cost, but all opinions are my own.  Believe me, I will give you the good, bad and in-between with an unvarnished eye.

The importance of effective baby dancing

Sooooo. I am now 4DPO. I am very tired (go to bed late), stomach issues (IBS), and fuzzy-brained (again, fatigue most likely cause). I promised myself since the first likely true pregnancy symptom couldn't start until at LEAST 7DPO, that I  will wait until then to document my symptoms on Countdown to Pregnancy---but it's going to be hard. I'm already chomping at the bit. I just know that as helpful as it is, it also feeds the frenzy. I'm already more hopeful than I have a right to be anyway, so.

Let me tell you why THIS cycle has me so hopeful! I know that there are many, many variables that contribute to a single couple's infertility. The woman's ovulation, lining, cervical mucus, etc; the man's sperm count, motility and morphology, among other things. But what is perhaps the MOST important thing to successful conception? Drowning that egg in sperm. The most effective way is to ensure BD on each of the 4-5 days of the fertile period. I'm not sure how the amount of BDing affects the probability statistics of conceiving, but I'm pretty sure if the highest projected statistic is around 30% (for a couple with no known issues), then I'm thinking the best way to get to that max is, well, coverage.

But, this is why it is called baby dancing. Anyone can dance, but to do it well takes practice, commitment, and timing. The same is needed when trying to conceive.  Practice, well I think that, hopefully, most of us know how to do the mechanics, but this could apply to the peripheral stuff in sex that encourages conception instead of discouraging it. Things like using sperm-friendly lubricant and other outlandish things couples try to encourage the sperm to make a nice home while waiting for baby. The woman practices tracking her cycles, however she chooses and the man may alter behaviors to allow for optimum sperm production.

Commitment-anyone reading this who has been blessed enough to decide to get pregnant and just have unprotected sex and poof--baby on board---well, you may have a different concept of the commitment to conceive a child. You may likely be picturing the commitment of the pregnancy, birth, newborn stage and beyond. For the infertile couple, commitment to achieving pregnancy is a whole 'nother ball game. It is commitment to a few options: sex on demand (the OPK is positive, let's go!), creative foreplay  to sustain or create interest in repetitive intercourse, and--dogged determination to have sex every day or every other day from after the woman's period leaves until O is confirmed. All of these take commitment, but especially the last one. Most couples don't attempt it until they have reached a point of desperation brought about by time or loss.

So now for my point--why I am so hopeful this cycle. This cycle, if my chart and CB EFM are correct, we have manage to cover the 2 days before O and O date. Here is the handy dandy Intercourse Analyzer tool from Fertility Friend:


Needless to say, this is the highest rating you can get with this tool. On my m/c cycle, I only had Good. I know it isn't a guarantee. I know at most, if I'm really lucky, it will lift my chances to about 30%--but it will likely be half that. In any case, I'm hopeful this will be what was missing from our equation all along.

If not, I have the BeeFertile to look forward to! It should be on its way! Most likely by the time it is here, I'll be nearing the end of this cycle, so I'll use the time to get familiar with the regimen and hopefully get DH on board with taking the men's portion of the supplement.