Monday, November 21, 2011

New blog design!

I just needed a change. I like the calming blue of the water. Also, in early pregnancy many women dream of water, so I'm hoping this will encourage something to happen! I also changed the layout. You will see navigation, subscription, following, labels, and other items for moving around this blog in the

<=== LEFT sidebar.

You will see items such as the acronyms I use here, blogs I follow, and other pregnancy related items I like to bring to your attention at the

RIGHT sidebar ===>

 I hope this seems better organized and easier to navigate! I also enabled a mobile version in case you want or need to surf from you phone and to hopefully make it easier . Let me know what you think!

Current cycle status and vitamin regimen

So, since I am not charting, OPKing, or doing really anything to track my cycle most of this is a guesstimate. I would say the only thing I am really doing is marking when my period arrives on my phone's calendar and when it is projected. Since I tend toward 30 day cycles, I am estimating to get my period this cycle on 11/25/11--Thanksgiving, AGAIN. I only hope that it is much less painful than last Thanksgivings. Still, I am about 4 days away from my expected period--still no spotting, but I could still get it as close as 2 days before.

I really am trying not to obsess about my cycles, but when my BBs hurt so much, and I know that I've ovulated....I can't help but wait and wonder. I only keep track of when to expect my period so I can know if it is late. I try not to obsess about whether or not I am...I tend to despair that I will never get pregnant naturally.  I did have some spotting about a week ago for 2-3 days..not much...could have been O-spotting. Time will tell. 

I'm also out of supplements. I need to get my Royal Jelly, B-Complex and Folic Acid replaced. I've been out for awhile. Other than that I'm going back on my Melaleuca Vitality 4 vitamins since when I added that to my regimen last time I had such a long luteal phase. So I really believe in those. 

Hopefully I'll be able to get some soon. 

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

How to inactively TTC

Wow. That's a loaded statement, if any, "how to inactively TTC." Really more of an oxymoron, like hot ice or cold fire. Most of the peeps on the Pregnancy/TTC boards refer to it as "not trying not preventing" or NTNP for short (or some version of this).

Before I forget, and go into my quasi-philosophical ramblings, I want to attempt to explain my sudden burst of activity after stating I would not be active. The simplest explanation is that a few of these things were initiated before we chose to NTNP. Specifically, the Redbook video was submitted a few weeks before, and it seemed a shame to not share this wonderful campaign with my readers and fellow infertility club members.

Then I got approached to do a great article on infertility consultants at Examiner.com, so it seemed natural to pursue this too. By this point I believe my grieving over not actively TTC had begun to heal. Also, I am the type of person that I tend to focus on a particular activity or goal intensely, somewhat obsessively (ok TOTALLY obsessively). So, part of postponing TTC was that I had this lost feeling...like I was drifting, purposeless. This is a time when most people throw themselves into their work...I ended up getting back to substituting full-time and had a few job interviews. I also needed time to figure out what the right ratio and mix of fertility stuff I could participate in and not hurt. Also, my current somewhat depressed mood state is quite exacerbated in the days leading up to my period and especially the week of my period. During those times I feel excessive guilt, hopelessness, shame--classic depression symptoms. So, not an ideal time to surf the fertility boards and watch others obsess about their cycle.

And I think that is the key. As much as I care about how those girls do, I can't handle my own issues while I cheer them on. Every time I look at where they are in their cycle, it makes me think about where I am in my cycle. Or tempted to re-start my Fertility Friend so I can track my cycle. Or just feel sad that I can't even test.

And then there is my testing insanity. I've always been a bit of a POAS addict, but I seriously--seriously--get this crazy denial about my negative HPTs. I convince myself of all the plausible, yet unlikely ways that I could still be pregnant even though it is most certainly negative. I have even insisted on another beta test AFTER a few days of full, red flow, convinced I was having an ectopic.

Let's just say I waste a LOT of money on pregnancy tests....even when I've already had my period.

Benefits of utilizing an infertility consultant

Check out my most recent article on Examiner.com as the Austin Infertility and Miscarriage Examiner, Benefits of utilizing an infertility consultant. This article shows you what an infertility consultant is and how one can help you in pursuing successful conception and birth. I had the privilege of interviewing Mindy Berkson, of Lotus Blossom Consulting, LLC about the benefits of using an infertility consultants.

One thing Mindy emphasized over and over was that although adding the consultant fee it was a larger cost upfront, that infertility consultants will work to ensure you get the most of your "infertility dollar" so to speak by helping you get the best treatment available so that it takes you fewer cycles to conceive AND sets you up for adding to your family later by preparing eggs/embryos to be stored. As she recommends, this can significantly reduce the amount of time spent on the IVF process (or third-party reproduction) when you choose to add to your family.

Now, I too can suffer from that hesitancy to put out a large amount on something in hopes of a long-term reward. Especially now that I still have no full-time job or regular insurance benefits. It's like a gamble--do I put forward a lot of money now, in hopes that it will save me later, or do I spend less on something that might also work to save? It is frustrating because we always seem to remember the times that we chose to lay out a lot and didn't get the savings or result we wanted. But what about the times we invest in something cheaper to get quantity, but end up having to purchase that item/service again and again, with the result that we spend as much or more than the more expensive item? Or worse yet, the product simply doesn't do what it proposes or has a negative effect based on what you intend to use it for? It is those times that I usually end up giving up on the higher priced item because I have already put so much towards the cheaper, less effective one.

Unless it is something worth it. Something very important to my health, comfort or safety that is a need rather than a want. I guess when I think of it in relationship to trying to have a baby, would I rather wander blindly through the maze of infertility treatments and hope I get a good outcome right away or hire someone who knows the way and can help me reach that goal sooner.

It is a tough decision, and I'm hopeful that I can find one to help me when my active TTC efforts resume. Like anything though, it is a joint effort, so I'll have to get DH on board too!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Redbook's No Shame Campaign "The Truth About Trying"

Recently, RESOLVE.org partnered with Redbook magazine to launch a campaign to decrease the stigma around infertility. Their campaign is called "The Truth About Trying" and has dozens of videos from celebrities and average people who have experience infertility. Their videos give testimony to their experience. They also have several articles highlighting the experience of infertility.

RESOLVE contacted me to ask for a video submission of my infertility story, and it was included with a dozen other videos as a part of their campaign. See my video below, and visit the Truth about Trying site for more videos like it. Redbook is inviting everyone in the infertility community to submit a video of their own and help dispel the myths surrounding infertility.

Perhaps if you find it hard to share your own journey with people in your life, you could show them videos that explain the experience of infertility to them.

Decreasing the stigma of infertility

Check out my most recent Examiner article. It highlights the stigma of infertility and is geared toward people who may not be aware of infertility. Check it out, and feel free to link to it to help increase awareness of the impact infertility has! Decreasing the stigma of infertility