What to Respect When NOT Expecting Kickstarter project

How many of you have had awkward encounters with people regarding your infertility? Whether it's the "helpful" advice like "just relax", the clueless suggestions like "maybe you're not 'doing' it right" or the downright rude statements about "maybe God just doesn't want you to have children" anyone who has been trying to conceive for longer than 6 months is bound to have experienced one of these.

Sometimes the worst are the comments from people who have no idea that you are trying or how long you've been trying. As an overweight woman who happens to carry a larger percentage of her weight in her abdomen, I have had multiple encounters that go like this:

At a party:

I meet a few people, and while chatting with one new person--

Stranger:  So, when are you due?

Me:          Oh, I'm not pregnant, just fat.

Stranger:  I'm so sorry! It's just your dress/you look like you are/I just thought


I have had many other variations, some a little more vague, but I think the worst is when someone starts with "Can I ask you something?"  which is usually followed by a much more direct question "are you pregnant?"   I think I hate these the most, because it is so obvious that they are unsure about whether or not I am, but disregard any instincts they might have about whether the question will hurt my feelings in favor of their burning curiosity.

As a young, single woman, these questions hurt mostly my self-esteem.  As a married woman unable to conceive, it was like another stinging reminder of my failures.

One of my worst encounters was shortly after I discovered I was miscarrying.  A very congenial man I met at the mailbox asked me if I was expecting.  I very calmly said "not anymore."  I was so angry before I encountered him, I had sworn to myself I would let the next person who asked that know how rude and insensitive it was, but he was so nice I couldn't bring myself to it.


If you have had encounters like these, and would like to contribute, follow the link to join the project. The author is also accepting submissions of stories for the book. The intention is to provide support to couples new to infertility as well as a guide for family and friends of what NOT to say to infertile couples.

I think it sounds great and can't wait for it to print.

Awesome acupuncture herbs!

So, I've been going to acupuncture for a few months now. I LOVE it! I'm not going to lie, sometimes the needles hurt, but I usually feel amazing after the treatment is done.

I tried doing the real herbs, making decoctions, but I just wasn't sticking with it. I'd make them, drink one cup, but usually not get around to the rest. I finally told my acupuncturist I should stick to the herbal pills. They are these little round bb size pills--I usually take 8 per dose. She finally convinced me to try the herbs again...I don't mind the flavor as much. She may have added some to make the taste better, or maybe I just don't mind it as much.

I am hopeful we will find the best solution soon to achieve pregnancy.

Update on To Conceive Product....

I have been using the ToConceive product intermittently for the last few months. My first month using it, I had what seemed to be a yeast infection or some other cause of vaginal itchiness shortly after starting.  I cannot say for sure that it was the cause, I did not have problems later.


Although the product instructs to use every day, and additional use prior to baby-dancing, I have been reluctant to use past ovulation. I know this is most likely my paranoia that causes me to even be cautious with certain pain meds or almost anything that is not recommended for pregnancy though. I have mostly been using it prior to intercourse during my fertile period, so THAT could explain why it hasn't been effective up to this point.

I actually kind of like using it at first, because it's kind of tingly.  I need to start using it daily again. Should I get my miracle BFP it's easy to stop.

I'll give you more updates later!