New Charting Opportunities!

Well, most of the forums I go to the women use Fertility Friend for charting because it is free and has a nice feature for sharing charts.

So, the other day I was at Countdown to Pregnancy and I noticed they were taking beta testers for their new BBT charting feature. This really excited me and so I definitely signed up for it. It made me wonder if there were other charting options out there and whether the Taking Charge of Your Fertility site was currently offering an online charting option. When I first checked it out in early/mid 2009 they did not have an online version available.

I've often wanted to use the charting software I got from my Taking Charge of Your Fertility book but it is for WINDOWS users only and I have a Mac at home. Here's a picture of my pristine disk, never been unwrapped from the book:

When I checked the TCOYF site, I noticed that they too were offering beta testing of their about-to-launch ONLINE charting software! I signed up right there, although the thought of two charts right now is daunting. (Let alone three when I test CountdowntoPregnancy's too!). They don't have the nifty sharing abilities that FF has, but I created a ticker thanks to Ticker Factory for my TCOYF chart below





You can now find links to both of my charts at the top of the blog. Just a small review, I've been using it for about a week and there are definite differences between it and FF. Some things I like, some I think are just a matter of it being what I am used to and can't decide which is best. As a beta-tester they awarded me either 36 weeks or 36 months (can't remember!) of the Premium version and I'm not certain right now which of the following features are available on the basic version vs. premium.

What I like about TCOYF--

• Capacity for multiple charts with different layouts, each with different sharing capacities.
• What this means is that I can have my own personal chart that no one sees with every feature I find important. If, however, I don't want the whole world to know my BD schedule, or some other mundane detail, I can create a second chart that I can choose to share with everyone. There are also sharing options for registered TCOYF members and additional 2 or 3 options within certain groups in the membership for those who utilize all of the other aspects of the site (such as forums).
• Customization!
• Ok, so this is my girly side, but I've discovered that I can make my chart and calendar have any color theme I like! And I like that. I like being able to make it my own. I have noticed that it doesn't appear that you can customize each chart differently (how you customize your chart is the same for all charts whether you have one or 10). You can also customize your calendar, including icons on both the calendar and chart.
• Vaginal sensation and other charting features
• One thing I like about FAM (Family Awareness Method) principles is that you can check vaginal sensation as well as CM. Have you ever had what seemed like sticky CM but also had a very watery, wet feel? On FF it says to check the most fertile you detect. On TCOYF you could mark the CM as Sticky and the VS (Vaginal Sensation) as lubricative, hot, humid, slippery (that's one selection) This adds for finer interpretation of fertility.
• This may seem minor, but I like that all you have to do to mark BD is check a box for intercourse. I think it takes away a level of unnecessary stress and indecision. Isn't what really matters the fact that in some way (whether AM, PM, or mulitiple times) that there is a chance you fertilized an egg? You could always mark in notes if there were some special circumstances (like IUI or IVF vs Intercourse).
• You can choose when to exit the input window
• One thing that constantly bugs me about entering info into FF is that as soon as I hit "save" you are involuntary taken back to your chart. They do have the "save and next" button if you are editing a few days in a row. But I often start inputing today's information and then realize that I forgot to put the intercourse for yesterday, or symptom that occurred yesterday. Then I have to save what I have for today and manually go back to the day in question. With TCOYF's site, you can start inputing info on any calendar day, hit save and then guide within the input window to another calendar day that you need to input info on either before OR after the current day. I do have to remember to exit manually when I am done because I am so used to being taken to the chart upon saving.
• You can also use this site to AVOID pregnancy!
• So, let's say you have achieved pregnancy but would like to NOT go back to hormonal birth control while you're breast-feeding or waiting to conceive again. This site has the capacity to help you avoid pregnancy as well as achieve it. I think once it comes out of beta testing switching back and forth will be easier, but I do recall that when I was first signing up it asked if I were trying to prevent or achieve pregnancy. Indeed, the FAM principles are directed at a woman in any stage of life or fertility goal
• FF is specifically geared toward conception and here is what their FAQ says regarding using their site to prevent pregnancy:
• Can charting help me avoid pregnancy?
• Fertility charting is certainly a reliable and empowering means of family planning. FertilityFriend.com is totally tuned and geared to help you get pregnant and would put you at great risk if you used any of its interpretations to avoid pregnancy. The principles of chart interpretation for pregnancy avoidance and pregnancy achievement are significantly different and unfortunately not just the reverse of each other. Using any of FertilityFriend.com's chart interpretations in reverse will not work and will put you at risk to get pregnant. Avoiding pregnancy using fertility charting is a different approach altogether.If you plan to use fertility charting (or Fertility Awareness) to avoid pregnancy we recommend that you get in touch with a Natural Family Planing or Fertility Awareness counselor and get a specific training for that purpose.

 Things I don't like about TCOYF online charting:

• You can't edit the chart from the chart
• Basically, if you want to input any information you must go to the calendar layout and click on the date. This is essentially what can also be done in FF, but in FF the calendar is on the same page as the chart and IF you want you can click on that day on the chart itself to edit it.
• Sharing is mostly self-directed
• I had to use the FAQ to figure out how to have someone be able to view my chart (but did find the FAQ VERY user friendly!). Sharing basically involves marking who I allow to see the chart and it also informed me what link to use to share with others. For most women they would be stuck providing a simple text link such as this : My Chart. I like experimenting and discovered with BBCode for a ticker made by an online service (such as AlternaTicker) 
• Here is an example of the BBCode for the ticker below I made on AlternaTicker: [URL=http://alterna-tickers.com][IMG]http://alterna-tickers.com/tickers/generated_tickers/4/45pxnasbf.png[/IMG][/URL]  
• To enable this ticker to link to my chart on a forum using BBCode, I would remove the url "http://alterna-tickers.com" and replace it with my charting code as seen below (I bolded the URL in the above and below codes for illustration only. [URL=http://www.tcoyf.com/members/lissabee79/charts/2.aspx][IMG]http://alterna-tickers.com/tickers/generated_tickers/4/45pxnasbf.png[/IMG][/URL] and voila! I have the ticker of my choice routing to the site of my choice. However, many women will need a lot more guidance to find out how to do this for themselves, which is why I like the sharing capabilities of FF better. Also, since FF allows for creating your own ticker the ticker will automatically update with your chart. When you create your own ticker, you may need to make a new one for each cycle to remain current.
• No delete option?
• Somehow it selected one day for my first cycle and my actual first cycle entered is now marked as cycle 2. I haven't checked the FAQ yet, but I've looked at all the places I might edit my cycle and can't figure out how to delete or merge it. It wasn't REALLY my 1st cycle day, but it could have been, I just don't want to reset all of my dates and also don't want to enter all of the info from the previous cycle.
• Lack of features compared to FF
• FF just has SO many features that guide in interpretation of the chart compared to TCOYF. You can look at an analysis of all your intercourse in TCOYF and it will give an estimate of effectiveness. You can also look at a section under Fertility planner that predicts chances of pregnancy based on the chart. But I like the tools in FF much better, just because there are so many more. 

Maybe after I have used TCOYF a few cycles I'll get the hang of it. Right now I have SO many days in FF that I probably wouldn't use TCOYF primarily, but I like the idea that I could use it for pregnancy prevention in the future.

 

11DPO....Spotting alert and iffy temps!

So far, I've made it through 11DPO....so far. Last night I had restless sleep and I woke up around 3:30AM. I had to pee and somehow just knew that I'd started bleeding....well sorta. I went to the bathroom and it was just spotting. So, I was expecting full-fledged AF in the morning. Got up, still just spotting. All day, just spotting. Also, I couldn't fall asleep right away and by the time I did I got restless sleep. It was cold in my bedroom but I felt hot under the covers.

So, I marked Sleep Deprived on my FF chart b/c I technically went back to bed less than three hours before I took my temp. Normally when this happens, your temp is a little higher than it would have been. However, every time this seems to have happened to me my temp has done the opposite of what was expected (plummeted). However, my temp DID go up and it was so confusing to me that it did what it should have done that for most of the morning I was thinking it had done the wrong thing again (because it is not my norm).

It's now 7:00PM and as of my last check, still just spotting. Steady spotting, but nowhere near enough to be considered a flow. Today I had a really runny/stuffy nose and was sooo tired from not sleeping the night before. And a headache. I hate PMS!

I'm really cramping now, so I think that I'll end getting my period either tonight or tomorrow....It would be nice if it lasts until 12DPO b/c then I would have a somewhat normal LP. But I might still take the B6 I bought for next cycle, just in case.

Oh, and I broke down and bought my DREAM BBT!
It was only 9 dollars total so I don't know why I hesitated. My thermometer is not bad per se, but frustrating. This BBT was designed and/or approved by Toni Weschler (author of Taking Charge of Your Fertility). The best feature for me is that it beeps WHILE it takes the temp. Since I do V-temping, it's under the covers and I hardly hear mine, which is very quiet. I'm hoping it doesn't disturb DH, but I'm thinking b/c of the covers it should only be heard by me. Also, it has a LIGHTED display, so when it's really dark in the morning I could enter my temp right away if I wanted. It also has one temp memory so I can always record it when I get up. I just got an email it shipped today. I'm hoping that it gets here soon enough that I can use it for the next cycle. Cool!

On a side note, I tried to get my passport today, but the *only* thing I didn't have was a valid birth certificate. I was hoping the ancient copy I had would fly, but it didn't, so now I have to get an "official" copy. It has to be the FULL form too, they make a short version but that won't work for passports apparently.

I'll keep you posted with an update tomorrow. I'm fairly certain the witch will show, it's just a matter of time. Thank y'all for the support. I know this AF will be rough and I do want to get my period, but I fear besides being in more than usual physical pain that it will bring back all of the emotions of the miscarriage. But I think it will be closure for me.

10 DPO!!!

I'm cautiously doing a happy dance because so far I've made it through 10 full days past O before AF!!! Yippee! This makes me think my theory was right about my short LP in May due to still having high levels of Prolactin in my body after stopping my anti-psychotic.

I got my BFP on my July cycle so I couldn't gauge if the extension of my LP was due to that or lower Prolactin levels. So, I guess we'll see how long my LP REALLY is.

One thing about miscarrying, this 1st TWW is brutal. I'm moody and weepy and it feels like pregnancy all over again. Today I just got SUPER tired. Sometimes feels like I took a sleeping pill. The symptoms are messing with my head. See I KNOW in my head that BD 5 days BEFORE O is extremely unlikely--but not impossible. That's what's getting me. I can't find the percentages everywhere, but one place said as high as 10%!

Just reviewed my chart again and technically it was 6 days before O, which makes my chances about nil! But I HATE how I can't shake this niggling feeling that I might be....I know that this is JUST PMS and any magnification is a result of the miscarriage messing with my body...it's just hard to accept.

I will say that if by some MIRACLE I am pregnant then I'm a fertile myrtle and DH has super sperm!

Trying my luck out....

Well winning two giveaways in a row has given me a taste for winning cool free stuff. So I was at babycenter and saw they have blog reviews with giveaways! So cool. I saw this one for a Phil and Ted's Explorer Stroller and had to enter!  Here's a pic!

The one in the giveaway has red accents. Well, if you want to enter, hurry, because the drawing is on August 31st, 2010!

So, I'm going to keep a lookout for awesome giveaways and hope to point you guys in the right direction! Happy hunting!

I never thought I would feel this way, but...

I find I'm having a difficult time with the number of pregnant women in my life. I have often when wishing a friend or fellow forum member congrats had that small moment or glimmer of celebrating my BFP. At first, it was more hopeful and inspiring. Later as the months wore on it became more sad. I think for a long time because I wasn't ovulating and I knew it wouldn't be likely until I stopped my meds that I was somewhat in a holding pattern. I was "actively" TTC--sorta. Really it was more like waiting.

I think since January (2010) I have started to experience more frustration and grief over my own lack of ovulation. There was one day in May that I was so low (I don't think taking Vitex helped) that I just HAD to go out for a walk and think things through. It was either go out and do something or curl up and have a good cry and I didn't want to feel sorry for myself. Out on the walk I would see happy families and even passed a woman with a baby. I had to rush past or risk breaking out in tears in front of them. I also started feeling more pain when I saw someone's signature on the forums with a baby ticker (mostly the Pregnology ones that show an embryo/fetus in utero).

I realize that this is MY pain over MY difficulties. For my pregnant friends (and family!) please understand that I am ecstatic that you are experiencing this joyful stage in your life. I cannot wait for the day when I can hold your little one and coo over whether he/she has momma's nose or daddy's eyes. Even at my miscarriage, I reminded myself of the practical reasons and looked forward to the future, while grieving for my loss. I knew (and know) how much I can handle related to pregnancy.

Yet, just recently, every pregnancy announcement or belly pic just makes me long for my own pregnancy---future ones and the never-was.

So, if I excuse myself from conversation or don't seem as enthusiastic over your baby plans, it is not that I wish you ill but am overcome by my own lacking. I apologize if I seem rude.

I really think that right now I'm 6DPO and am SUPER weepy and emotional so it is hitting me really hard. Normally I can keep my chin up. I have seen soooo many women despairing of how everywhere they look there is a pregnant woman and how hard it is to handle. I can handle it, but today it is much more difficult than before.

I got my Mama Mio Skincare Giveaway in the mail!

So, you may remember my earlier post where I won a contest/giveaway from Pregnancy and Newborn Magazine.

It came in the mail today! I think I got everything in the Mama Mio skincare line!

So following are the photos of everything.

Now I just need to get pregnant so I can use it!

Ramadan Mubarak!

Ramadan Mubarak!


Ramadan is a month on the Muslim calendar in which Muslims celebrate the sending of the Quran by God to Mohammad through the Angel Jibrail (Gabriel).
It is a time when Muslims the world over fast from dawn to dusk (no eating or drinking--not even water!, and no cursing, smoking, or sexual intercourse). Also, Muslims during Ramadan attempt to act and behave with absolute purity and in obedience to Allah's commands (as transmitted through the Quran).

It is also a time for visiting with family and other Muslim friends and neighbors. At the end of Ramadan is our greatest holiday Eid-al-Fitr, which is essentially a 3-day feast celebrating the end of Ramadan. Most Muslim children receive gifts this holiday.

So to my brothers and sisters across the world, Ramadan Mubarak!

I won a contest!

So, sometime while waiting for my 3rd or 4th blood draw (before m/c) I was looking through a Pregnancy and Newborn Magazine at my doc's office and noticed they have giveaways.

I noted the website name and went there later to enter. I didn't get the first giveaway, but they seem to have them each month.

Imagine my suprise when I get home this evening and find this email:

Quote:

Congratulations, Melissa! Your 9-months of Maternity Skincare from Mama Mio is shipping this week and should arrive in approximately 7 – 10 business days. Thanks for entering and please use with joy! Kind regards, Mara Mara Stern Marketing Director - US

 Yay! Finally I WIN! And it will be so appreciated and makes me look forward to my next BFP even more! Will definitely post pics when received!

Wanna win a TTC Giveaway?

Well, just mosey on over to my good friend Anne-Marie's blog, formerly "A Day in the Life of A Dreamer", but will soon become "A Dreamer's Blog" on Wordpress.

Click this button below to follow her blog and enter in her giveaway


I love this giveaway and want to win! It's not only a bunch of OPKs and HPTs but a great Mug with cute writing on it to use for a pee cup! Go to her site and check it out!

Waiting...always waiting.

Well, since I got the news I've been dealing with it. Mostly I just want to get back on the TTC train. Slowly most of my stubborn pregnancy symptoms went away. I kept spotting off and on until today...nothing really. This worries me because now I'm concerned that my miscarriage is incomplete and I'll need to do something to finish it. I read that Evening Primrose Oil (EPO) can help soften the cervix so I've started taking that in the hope that it could help things along.

Yesterday, weirdly I had a flash of pregnancy symptoms again...fatigue, sore back (that's been constant though), sore bb, and some nausea. Also cramping, but like the sore back that has also been a bit of a constant. Today I felt so tired and crampy I didn't go to work. But no bleeding yet. I may have to make an appt with my doctor.

I did take an HPT this morning so I could report the BFN to my doctor. The relieving thing about the BFN is that this quells my illogical hope that somehow, someway the pregnancy would bounce back. It confirms that it is indeed a miscarriage.  Another confirmation is the return of the diarrhea, which is another symptoms of early miscarriage.

I just am so impatient...I want the miscarriage to be complete so I can feel whole and ready to move on with TTCing again. I have this unmistakable hope that I will deliver a baby in 2011....insh'allah that is God's wish too. It is up to him when and if I get pregnant. But right now in the midst of this loss I feel hope for a new beginning.