What to Respect When NOT Expecting Kickstarter project

How many of you have had awkward encounters with people regarding your infertility? Whether it's the "helpful" advice like "just relax", the clueless suggestions like "maybe you're not 'doing' it right" or the downright rude statements about "maybe God just doesn't want you to have children" anyone who has been trying to conceive for longer than 6 months is bound to have experienced one of these.

Sometimes the worst are the comments from people who have no idea that you are trying or how long you've been trying. As an overweight woman who happens to carry a larger percentage of her weight in her abdomen, I have had multiple encounters that go like this:

At a party:

I meet a few people, and while chatting with one new person--

Stranger:  So, when are you due?

Me:          Oh, I'm not pregnant, just fat.

Stranger:  I'm so sorry! It's just your dress/you look like you are/I just thought


I have had many other variations, some a little more vague, but I think the worst is when someone starts with "Can I ask you something?"  which is usually followed by a much more direct question "are you pregnant?"   I think I hate these the most, because it is so obvious that they are unsure about whether or not I am, but disregard any instincts they might have about whether the question will hurt my feelings in favor of their burning curiosity.

As a young, single woman, these questions hurt mostly my self-esteem.  As a married woman unable to conceive, it was like another stinging reminder of my failures.

One of my worst encounters was shortly after I discovered I was miscarrying.  A very congenial man I met at the mailbox asked me if I was expecting.  I very calmly said "not anymore."  I was so angry before I encountered him, I had sworn to myself I would let the next person who asked that know how rude and insensitive it was, but he was so nice I couldn't bring myself to it.


If you have had encounters like these, and would like to contribute, follow the link to join the project. The author is also accepting submissions of stories for the book. The intention is to provide support to couples new to infertility as well as a guide for family and friends of what NOT to say to infertile couples.

I think it sounds great and can't wait for it to print.

Awesome acupuncture herbs!

So, I've been going to acupuncture for a few months now. I LOVE it! I'm not going to lie, sometimes the needles hurt, but I usually feel amazing after the treatment is done.

I tried doing the real herbs, making decoctions, but I just wasn't sticking with it. I'd make them, drink one cup, but usually not get around to the rest. I finally told my acupuncturist I should stick to the herbal pills. They are these little round bb size pills--I usually take 8 per dose. She finally convinced me to try the herbs again...I don't mind the flavor as much. She may have added some to make the taste better, or maybe I just don't mind it as much.

I am hopeful we will find the best solution soon to achieve pregnancy.

Update on To Conceive Product....

I have been using the ToConceive product intermittently for the last few months. My first month using it, I had what seemed to be a yeast infection or some other cause of vaginal itchiness shortly after starting.  I cannot say for sure that it was the cause, I did not have problems later.


Although the product instructs to use every day, and additional use prior to baby-dancing, I have been reluctant to use past ovulation. I know this is most likely my paranoia that causes me to even be cautious with certain pain meds or almost anything that is not recommended for pregnancy though. I have mostly been using it prior to intercourse during my fertile period, so THAT could explain why it hasn't been effective up to this point.

I actually kind of like using it at first, because it's kind of tingly.  I need to start using it daily again. Should I get my miracle BFP it's easy to stop.

I'll give you more updates later!

PMS from HELL!

Updates on my cycle. Last cycle that started in May lasted 21 days! Not quite in the healthy range, but getting there!  My last two cycles I seem to have ovulation symptoms, but no clear temporal shift. I believe the May 2013 cycle was due to inconsistent temping.  This cycle, I had ONE missed temp, but it appeared to be right when I think I ovulated. I appear to have a bi-phasic pattern, but it doesn't show ovulation on FF. I think it is because the increase in my temps is barely one to two-tenths above my "pre-O" pattern.  They seem to hover right in that range, with a few that spike higher.

The problem is that where I think I may have ovulated, my last BD was so far away...If on CD17, it is -3 ovulation, but with that one temp missing it is hard to say. Plus, if it is actually on CD18, we're a -4 and that's stretching it.

BUT, I'm already at CD26, with no AF! I did have some very slight spotting on CD 24/25--I though for sure AF was coming, especially with that temp dip, but then she didn't and my temp is up today.  I can't help but be a bit manic in my hope that this is a positive sign. I'm obsessing like I did in the good ol' TTC days. I wonder if that could have been implantation? I've had funny twinges in my pelvis, but I can never trust those as with my IBS it is more likely gas/constipation than anything related to reproduction.

My nipples have been very hard lately. Although often they will take turns, one nipple hard as rock, the other flat as a deflated balloon. And sore to the touch. Today I just felt some burning in my left nipple.  And I've had darker veins on my breasts/chest and shoulders, but that happens often.

Well, fingerscrossed this is a positive, because I've been in the darkest mood of my life the last two days and I don't think I can take it anymore!

Guest Review: Baby Needs: Wants vs. Needs

 

 Hello all! I've been de-anting my computer and focusing on work, so I'm very behind in updates. Today I have a guest post from a fellow blogger, Katie Moore, who writes on her blog
Moore From Katie.  Katie wanted to offer my readers who may be first-time moms (or mommys-in-waiting) some tips about where you can scrimp on things for baby and what's worth it to splurge on.  Reading some of her posts, I think she has an ability to expand on what most people may expect or know for mommyhood, and has several useful tips.

I definitely know many of you going through various ART treatments and with increased expenses to achieve pregnancy may appreciate a tip on how to save once your long-awaited little one arrives.

So, if you are the type of TTCer who loves to build your nursery and layette in anticipation of your little miracle, read on! If you're more like me, and like to hedge your bets, this could be a very informative article on what to splurge on when you do achieve live birth.  So, fair warning, if you've just gotten a negative HPT or AF has arrived for the millionth time, maybe save this article for another day!

Baby Needs: Wants vs. Needs

When it comes to having a baby, outfitting a nursery is only the first step in providing your child everything he or she needs. Figuring out what you need in preparation for your little one can be a struggle, especially on your wallet!  Everyone has different priorities, but by following a few tips it's possible to make sure you have what you need and where you can save a few dollars!

Save: Baby Designed Laundry Detergent

There are definitely some items that a mother may initially think she needs because of advertisements and advice from other parents that are not worth the money spent.  Baby specific laundry detergent is one of these items.  Many companies are trying to promote expensive detergent and claim it is gentler on a baby's skin.  As long as you buy fragrance free detergents, or sensitive skin detergents, your baby's clothes should be fit for them to wear.  Many of my friends even decided to go the DIY route and make their own laundry detergent.  You can find many recipes online that are effective, and keep money in your wallet!

Save: Baby Clothes

Another item not to break the bank on is baby clothes.  While we all want our babies to look adorable and be dressed following the latest baby trends, babies grow rapidly and clothing tends to only fit for a few weeks to a few months!  Because of this rapid turnover, there are always baby clothes to be found from friends who also recently had babies. Drop in at area garage sales to try and find clothes for your little one. Shopping full-priced retail outlets can get expensive, so think cheap and score deals where you can!

Splurge: Cord Blood Banking

One of the most important things you can give your child is access to their own cord blood stem cells later in life.  Banking cord blood involves collecting the blood remaining in your baby’s umbilical cord after birth and storing it in a private cord blood bank.  Stem cells from cord blood are used today in certain treatments and as research continues to advance, these cells could hold the key to treating other certain illnesses.  Make sure to do your research and ask your doctor about the cord blood banking.

Splurge: High Quality Camera

Another priceless gift that you can give your child is purchasing a high quality camera.  Babies grow up amazingly fast and having a camera to document the growth will preserve the memories for you and allow your child to see photos of their childhood after they have grown.  Buy a lightweight camera that you can carry with you anywhere so you are sure not to miss a single memorable moment with your child.  Make sure that it can fit in your diaper bag and don't be shy about using it.

Katie Moore has written and submitted this article. Katie is an active blogger who discusses the topics of, motherhood, children, fitness, health and all other things Mommy. She enjoys writing, blogging, and meeting new people! To connect with Katie contact her via her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter, @moorekm26

Natural Hypothyroidism Treatment

So, last night I was trolling Pinterest, looking for fertility related stuff. I was getting kind of frustrated, because having been studying methods to address infertility for the last 5-6 years, much of the pins seemed basic.

So, I thought about looking for pins to address the specific issues I know I am struggling with.  I found a very interesting pin related to how to treat hypothyroidism naturally.

Some of the claims I want to believe, but also want to check out (that we can get addicted to thyroid medication) although I'm inclined to believe. I continually struggle with knowing the dietary options that are healthy for me, and wanting to eat stuff I like.  Lately, I HAVE noticed when I consume bread, SUGAR, soda, processed food, etc that I feel like junk.  I guess if you are what you eat, and you eat junk food, you feel like junk.

I have been checking out a Paleo diet and I think it may fit many of my dietary needs. But that is a different post. Right now I'm addressing various natural ways of dealing with hypothryoidism.

They site I found was Healthwyze.org.  They give a detailed introduction to explain the reasons to attempt natural balancing of the thyroid, why synthetic medication will lead to dependence, and then lists the various actions one can take to improve thyroid function.

There are several, but the ones I want to highlight are the actions I have been contemplating for various reasons anyway, and seem the most likely culprits to my thyroid issue.

1. Avoid Fluoride. 
1. Yes, the stuff that makes toothpaste work. But fluoride is also present in most municipal tap waters as well. And yet again, Soda gets another strike against it. Apparently, even non-stick cookware leaches fluoride into food.
2. Coconut Oil.
1. The recommended method is to consume 1 tsp daily. Or it can be used as an oil/butter replacement. Of course, it is recommended to get unrefined, cold-pressed, organic coconut oil.
3. Absolutely no soy.
1. If you are thinking "that's no big deal, I'm not into tofu" better check the ingredients in your pantry. I find since soy is a common allergen, you can cheat by looking at that list of allergens on the ingredient list. But it is in a surprising number of processed foods.
4. Check for Iodine deficiency. 
1. Please be clear on the process and do not consume iodine by mouth.  The article suggests the 12 hour test. Place a circle of 2% Iodine on your stomach the size of a silver dollar.  If the iodine stain disappears completely in 12 hours, you are NOT deficient. If it still remains, keep using this treatment until the iodine disappears in 12 hours
2. Also, check the Healthwyze.org article for other natural sources of iodine.
5. Balance your Estrogen levels.
1. Ensure to eat only non-organic meat and no dairy.
2. Follow other recommendations in the article.
6. Don't get overwhelmed!

Upon examination, the list of recommendations is daunting. But I am posting the ones I think most important to attempt. I'm not going to hold myself to such a high standard that if I eat one think incorrect I will see myself as barren forever. But I will remember the guidelines, and seek to correct at least one of these daily.

I hope to see a change soon!.

Acupuncture update...

I've been going to acupuncture for about 2 months now. I really enjoy going, although the needles are occasionally painful, sometimes a lot, I generally feel AMAZING afterwards. As my post in April or so showed, I did start ovulating, but after awhile I was only having 15 day cycles before I had a light flow.  This last cycle I dedicated to taking the herbal pill formulations and saw my cycle extend to 20 days or so.  Also, very little to no spotting before hand.  So, it seems I'm going in the right direction.

Also, my 5th nephew was born on Sunday! I went to see my sister with the family the last two days, and he's darling.  I even took my Sis to his first newborn appt.

I also am developing a good friendship with a woman at work who offered to be my surrogate! It was so generous, but looking into the cost, it doesn't seem possible. We are just now getting more comfortable about whether we'll meet all our bills each month, but with very poor credit, I can see no way to afford the legal and IVF fees required.  Also, even with a gestational surrogate, it is a difficult choice for many reasons.


I'm looking forward to what the acupuncture will hold.

My Memories Suite v4 Software Giveaway!!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway



Just wanted to remind y'all that I have a FREE downloadable version of the My Memories Suite v4 software to giveaway. My last giveaway ended without any entries, so I am extending the giveaway for ONE MORE WEEK!  If you want to learn more about it, please read my post reviewing it here.

Join the Movement...for natural fertility supplementation

When my husband and I began our attempts to build our family, we had hoped it would only mean stopping birth control, and maybe a few months of concerted "scheduling" for baby-making.  I feared due to my years on birth-control medication, it could take up to a year to conceive. I had wanted to be as healthy as possible pre-pregnancy, and began looking into the vitamins and supplements that would be good for me to get started in preparation.

I had even ensured I met with each of my doctors to determine what steps I would need to take to be ready for pregnancy and delivery. The last question I thought I would need to ask is about how my current medications were affecting my fertility.



As I desperately tried to pinpoint the barriers I faced to successfully ovulating, conceiving and achieving live birth, I had researched a multitude of causes for my lack of ovulation and later my miscarriage and subsequent spotting before my period. Although I found many possibilities, and I would discuss them with my OB/GYN or Primary Care Physician, it took time to establish that I have hypothyroidism, but it doesn't seem to be addressing the totality of my fertility challenges.

Along the way I have tried a multitude of vitamins and supplements to address my specific needs---Soy Isoflavones, Vitex, B Complex vitamins, Royal Jelly and many others. Currently I'm under the care of an acupuncturist; along with my treatments and herbal supplements tells me what I've known all along--I will best make changes in my health through exercise and an appropriate diet.

In any case, when I've encountered co-workers, friends, or acquaintances with lack of knowledge about trying to conceive or infertility, I do my best to share what I have learned and recommend that they start with a visit to their doctors as well as researching on their own at reputable sites such as www.resolve.org and www.americanpregnancy.org. Even if I can just make someone aware of appropriate infertility etiquette, I'll feel like I've done something for the movement of infertility awareness.

http://www.resolve.org/infertility101  (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)

http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)

I'm finally ovulating again!!!

I definitely know I ovulated last month. Still a really short LP, with spotting prior to my period. But, at least it is ovulation. I think I'm having one of my strongest ovulations since my depo provera shot. I can tell because I have had burning in the glands under my armpits and my breast have had a burning pain on the sides, that worsens when touched.  Not very intense pain, but enough for me to notice and worsens with exercise or a lot of movement.

DH has been more randy than lately. Fingers-crossed that this means we have a solid chance this month, as I haven't prepped my thermometer to track, so I currently have no means of confirming ovulation. I'll probably know ovulation has occurred when I start spotting daily. It'll be about a week until full on flow starts---unless, something good is about to happen.

I have also been using To Conceive daily (after taking care of some vaginal imbalance), and each time we have sex. I really hope it will help his little guys make the journey to an egg that I hopefully have waiting. I will have to start my LP herbal pills tomorrow and I hope to see a change this cycle to no longer having such short LPs or the bleeding before my period.

Yesterday my SIL told my DH that she had a dream that everyone was over at our house, when DH received a call from me. I was at an ultrasound appointment to confirm that we had a heartbeat. DH then announced to his family we were expecting.

This dream sounds like foreshadowing to me for several reasons:
1.     It would be just like DH to refuse to join me at our ultrasound appointment.
2.     It would also be very DH for him to be unable to wait to announce to everyone and surprise them.
3.     It sounds too realistic than unusual. But then, it wasn't my dream.

7 days until My Memories Software Giveaway ends!!!

Just wanted to remind everyone of the My Memories Software giveaway I'm hosting! Please enter for a chance to receive a free downloadable copy of the software here http://motherhoodwanted.blogspot.com/2013/03/mymemories-suite-review-and-giveaway.html

I've been using the My Memories Software several times since I first reviewed it. I found a Pinwheel design and have made Pinwheels as good-bye gifts to my clients.  In light of Child Abuse Awareness month, I thought it was fitting.

I also would love to be able to use it one day to find a creative, fun way to announce my pregnancy to friends and loved ones (if not DH). It's a pretty cool piece of software. I've been frustrated in trying to use Photoshop and I find this more user friendly. Because there are so many free kits available, it seems like there are many uses and designs available. This weekend I got a design kit for Build Your Own Pirate---so my niece and I could make pirate dolls. 

Overall, it's a pretty cool software, and I'd love to reward one of my readers with a free copy to try!

MyMemories Suite Review and Giveaway

I was given the opportunity to download and review My Memories Suite software and will be launching a giveaway of the software to one lucky reader!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

What is MyMemories Suite? It is a digital scrapbooking software to easily create and assemble photobook albums and other beautiful layouts (like blinkies!).  I am still somewhat of a novice to photo-editing software, and have found MyMemories Suite easier to use. One of the things I like is that there are hundreds of paper backgrounds, embellishments or ready-to-go themed albums that just need pictures.

Although MyMemories.com has several options for printing out bound photobooks (especially if you pick a size unlikely to fit a home printer), you are not limited to images from this software or ordering through the site to produce or share your creations. You can even choose to share them digitally in a slideshow format in a variety of ways.

There are several wonderful free kits available, and another great feature is that even after uploading an pre-loaded album or layout, you can continue to customize as you wish, changing background, colors, embellishments, text, you name it!  I was a bit worried about placing photos in the pre-set boxes, but there are two options available. Double-click the photo box and move your picture to frame accordingly, OR add your photo, edit as you wish, then drag to the box. The background will turn blue and then, Voila!, photo is instantly added! One drawback to the latter method is that it will crop the photo for you, but MyMemories offers and excellent cache of YouTube tutorials from Introductions, to specific types of layouts or embellishments.

Previously, I have only done handmade card-making and scrapbooking. Part of this has been due to how much I enjoy the act of creating a handmade card, the rest to frustration each time I tried my hand at previous digital editing and creating.

BUT, if you are someone who has more experience and expertise in photo-editing, there are also options to create your album layer by layer.  All-in-All, it seems a great software for beginners and experts alike. And here is a sample album I put together. I used a pre-made album (Inspire Me Purple) in honor of my nephew, Ismael, who will be turning 1 years old in May. I'm so excited by how well this went that I looked at other album's and am having relatives send pictures so I can perfect a photobook to present to his parents on his birthday.

Since the album was pre-made, most of the time I spent was on selecting photos and creating/editing text. I had given up handmade scrapbooking in the past due to the time it would take to complete a project. In the time it previously would take me to create one page, I put together these pages and 4 others.  

The only challenges I have had so far, were when I was trying to edit/re-size a photo box or other item, I somehow clicked on an embellishment or other item. Thank God for the undo button!  But because MyMemories has such excellent tutorials available, I don't think I'll have to muddle through alone, but could find advice or guidance there.

So, here’s some excellent news, to kick off my review, I’m hosting a giveaway, courtesy of MyMemories.com and Rafflecopter.com. Follow the directions and the winner will receive a code to download a FREE MyMemories Suite v4 program!

I’ll give y’all 4 weeks to enter before the drawing.

ToConceive Fertility Lubricant: Initial Experience

I have been using the ToConceive for about 2 weeks now. I just had my period start March 7th, so I started use about 3-4 days after.  You get used to the tingly feeling when applying, and I have been careful to avoid my urethra to prevent from getting a urinary tract infection.  About my 2nd or 3rd day of use I started to have some cramping in my pelvis, and I wasn't sure if it was due to ToConceive. Since I've been more precise in applying, the pain has not continued. I will say that with my myriad of stomach complaints, it is possible that it was also gas pain due to IBS. I can never be completely sure if something is cramps or gas pain, although with my acupuncture diet, the IBS has been greatly improved!

I am even pleased to say that in our first baby-dancing using ToConceive, DH had no complaints. I was a bit concerned because in the past when we've used other warming types of lube he didn't care for it. There have been a few days I haven't applied it, but overall it was easy to add into my daily routine after bathing. 

I might be approaching ovulation soon, as I'll be CD14 tomorrow. I need to start tracking my CM more closely to see if it may be approaching fertile stage soon. So far I've only noticed sticky, or some kind of mix between sticky/creamy. 

Although I have been provided ToConceive product free of charge, I am providing my unbiased, honest opinion of the product and my experiences with it. 

ToConceive Fertility Lubricant: First Impressions

I have been sick since mid-February. About a week ago, I got a High on my CBEFM! Too bad it was my last stick and I didn't have the funds to buy more in time. But, just a day or two later, I got my ToConceive fertility lubricant in the mail. I had wondered why there needed to be 3 months worth bought at once; and now I have my answer! 

In addition to using ToConceive when having intercourse, the woman should apply ToConceive daily after a shower/bath.  ToConceive promotes the woman's natural lubrication that encourages sperm capacitation, so daily application does make sense.  Also, I don't know about you, but sometimes if spontaneous love-making occurs it can be hard to put the brakes on. So, I like that if I use daily it can increase my own ability to to fertilize an egg.  Of course, chances would be even greater when using ToConceive each time we had intercourse.

This may seem immature, but I had to giggle at the instructions.  For daily application, one must apply a small amount to the clitoris and labia.  Quite honestly, my first thoughts were that basically I'm being encouraged to masturbate daily. Which, if you think about on the woman's side, does make sense. As I have been TTC for 4+ years, I think I can be OK with this. I learned to check my cervix, which is way more yucky and difficult. 

For those of you who might consider masturbation as abhorrent, it is not literally asking you to do this. You could simply apply the small amount of ToConceive and apply---remember this is a scientifically researched method, with actual results of improving a couples' chance of conception.  It does have a warm, tingly feeling--the first time I used it, that feeling lasted most of the morning, but subsequent uses the tingly feeling is not as strong or as long.

For those of you who do enjoy some self-love, I don't see how it would hurt to use this as an aid--in fact external stimulation naturally promotes a woman's arousal fluids and production of cervical mucus, so I don't see the harm. 

For ease of use of the product, the packaging and dispenser are high quality. Any difficulty was due partially to my own eagerness to get started, and weak wrists; I mistakenly believed that the lid was a screw top. It is not. Simply pull the silver lid off and you get one of those really great controlled dispensers. Since the amount each woman needs may vary, I would start off with a half-pump. I could see myself using a full pump, at least, for actual intercourse.  But for daily use, a half-pump should be sufficient. Plus, this stuff is liquid gold! I always take the philosophy that it is easier to start with a little and add more. 

Although I think I may have been close to ovulation based on my High on my CBEFM, I think I am about to get my period.  I'm going to blame it on the 2 week flu. But this gives me a month to start fresh, and practice use of the ToConceive along with my acupuncture treatments. 

Although I have been provided ToConceive product free of charge, I am providing my unbiased, honest opinion of the product and my experiences with it. 

ToConceive: Revolutionary Fertility Lubricant

     Those of us that have been trying to conceive for awhile are all aware of the risks of using commercial lubricant when baby-dancing, as many major brands have some amount of spermicide or do an effective job of killing a lot of sperm before they reach the uterus. To date, there has only been one option for couples in need of lubrication during baby-making time—Pre-Seed. Since 2002, Pre-Seed has been the only viable lubricant option that will prevent sperm death while offering relief from dryness due to fertility medications and frequent intercourse.

    A new lubricant for couples with infertility goes a step further than a sperm-friendly lube. Dr. Ron Thompson, an OBGYN and a leader in several infertility procedures, developed ToConceive. ToConceive not only provides a lubricant with appropriate pH balance for sperm to live, but also promotes normal sperm capacitation, which increases the likelihood that sperm will reach the ovum prepared for fertilization. This is generally something healthy, mature sperm are capable of, but a woman’s natural arousal fluid and cervical mucus can also help sperm without the ability to capacitate to do so.

   With ToConceive, couples facing male infertility issues, as well as some female fertility concerns, can increase their chance to achieve conception naturally.  For some couples this could mean conceiving without invasive procedures for either the man or the woman. For couples looking at ART procedures in order to conceive, ToConceive can provide a relatively inexpensive way to achieve conception that might otherwise be out of their reach.

    I was very intrigued when contacted by the makers of ToConceive to review their product. When I first saw the price for a 3-month supply, I thought “Why should I buy this when I can get Pre-Seed for so much less?”  But as I looked at the information of what ToConceive can do, it was clear that this product is more advanced in how it can help with fertility issues.  This made the price seem more reasonable, and if it can help a couple that just needs an extra boost to their love-making to overcome their fertility obstacles, it seems worth it.  Especially if you compare the cost of a 3 month supply to 1 IUI or even just injectable fertility meds. 

    For myself, this is appealing, because even though DH’s sperm test results showed now concerns on his end, I still am not quite sure what is happening with me that is preventing us from achieving conception. Certainly my frequent medical concerns that cause us to halt TTC or our separations have not helped. But I would welcome anything that would keep me from having to go to additional doctors or potentially have to endure an invasive procedure.  I’m looking forward to getting to use ToConceive and will be reviewing it here on my blog!  So, stay tuned!

CBEFM Readings--Finally got a High!

So, I had just 7 sticks left for my CBEFM. And of course, I got 6 Lows, and then on Wednesday a High reading. No more sticks. No money for sticks. So, I'm depending on my BBT chart to tell me when/if ovulation occurs. On many of my CBEFM cycles, I would get 2 Highs before my Peak. However, on some cycles, I got 3-4 Highs or more before my Peak. My temps have been about the same the last 2 days. It did go up 1 tenth today. Got some baby-dancing in on Wed, and if I possibly can I am going to see if I can get some in today, as I believe I could be O-ing tomorrow or Sun. If I am right, today and tomorrow would be the best days statistically to have intercourse to ensure conception (in couples with normal fertility). This is based on my favorite research study that can be found on the New England Journal of Medicine.

So wish me luck! Although, if I don't achieve conception this month, I have a great surprise coming that should boost our efforts!  But that will be tomorrow's post. 

Making Babies Program Questionnaire

I missed my acupuncture last week because I caught laryngitis. And in my work, talking is quite essential, so this has been a major hamper to my work life. Also, I talk A LOT, so it is difficult for my personal life, as I just can’t shut up sometimes.

Anyway, I went again this Monday, and left with herbs for my phlegm and a loan of a book called Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility by Sami David MD and Jill Blakeway, LAc (Licensed Acupuncturist).  I have seen this book on Amazon while looking at possible fertility books to purchase. It has appealed to me as it looks at a combination of Western and Eastern medicine in its approach to fertility.

I mostly scanned the Part I & II as it covered basic strategies on achieving pregnancy naturally that I have come to know in-depth. However, if you are someone who is just starting out, or just wanting to expand your knowledge and awareness of what is involved to help your fertility, I would recommend looking at this chapter to ensure you have the complete knowledge to prepare yourself for fertility. I find it is always good to approach any undertaking with humility, to ensure I don’t overlook an important need due to my arrogance.

I am so pleased that I read the first chapter, which is pretty much an introduction to the authors and their philosophy of infertility treatment. I loved that Dr. David revealed his thoughts and feelings on what it was like to be on the forefront of IVF technology and how this motivated him to devote his practice to focus on finding an underlying diagnosis and making IVF and other ART procedures an option when less invasive methods have failed.

Also, the acupuncturist, Jill Blakeway, introduces Eastern medicine, what brought her to it, and how it works in comparison to Western medicine.

Under the fertility basics, I loved that it showed some charts for the various fertility types, so I bookmarked the ones I might be to reference later. Again, if you have not yet looked into charting this is a good introduction to using BBT for fertility charting, although I still consider TCOYF (Taking Charge of Your Fertility, by Toni Weschler) as the ultimate authority for BBT charting for fertility.

This book also reviews the nutrients needed for improved fertility, and one of the best parts, is in the entire book they make sure to highlight how each step helps both men and women individually. I was so grateful for the section that focuses on medications that can interfere with infertility. Many people don’t think twice about daily meds they are taking and whether it impacts their fertility. Women may certainly inquire on whether these meds will affect their unborn child, but not always whether it affects their efforts to achieve pregnancy.

The “What’s Your Problem?” chapter looks at both Eastern and Western methods of diagnosing fertility issues. I was amazed at the pagesworth of questions Dr. David believes are essential for any doctor to ask a patient seeking fertility assessments. Although many of these questions are a part of the forms your doctor has you fill out every time you go, there are some that I know have been rarely asked by my doctors. Positions for intercourse, types of intercourse engaged in, whether one experiences pain with intercourse.  I think the most astonishing one that was like a lightbulb were the ones regarding menstrual cycle history, such as age of menarche (first menses) including what it was like (smooth, painful, flow types, etc). I find many doctors like to brush over these things. If anyone is seeking an OBGYN or RE for fertility, look for a doctor that will take time to ask you questions like these and listen for the answer. Now if they miss a few questions on Dr. David’s questionnaire, don’t kick him/her to the curb, as long as they seem to really want to know what is going on with you.

So, the fertility types. There are 5 fertility types: Tired, Dry, Stuck, Pale, Waterlogged. The names are based on the Chinese medicine categories, but the authors explain that these nicely correspond to characteristics in Western medicine. There is a quiz you can take in the book, or if you like, you can take it online at www.makingbabiesprogram.com(click on Your Fertility Type? on the right-hand side).

I took the quiz in the book and online and found that I received the same result: Tired/Stuck, with Tired as my dominant type. In taking the book test, I saw my scores for all five, and saw that Waterlogged was a close third (I think, my score sheet was destroyed).

I copied the descriptions/advice of the Tired/Stuck types. Of course, these are property of www.makingbabiesprogram.com

The advice under the Tired closely matches the diet my acupuncturist recommends with the avoiding of raw/cold food & drink. Because of my complicated diagnosing, my acupuncturist advise for nourishing food, but wants me to avoid hot spices like cayenne or cinnamon. This is why going to a licensed acupuncturist with this info will help you get an individualized diagnosis.

The stuck advice of hot water with lemon also matches recommendations from my acupuncturist and is my favorite way to get hot drinks (even more than tea!). 

So far, I am liking the book and am looking forward to investigating the conditions and advice particular for my Fertility Types. I truly think I am a combined type because although a lot of the Tired ones apply, there are some that don't, and some stuck characteristics that are also prevalent. Many of the symptoms overlap types, so you will score in each of them. 

Please comment if you have read the book and also if you have questions that I didn't address in this review. Or you can email me at motherhood.wanted@gmail.com.

Daily habits to change for improved fertility

I so often take for granted basic facts about how to improve fertility. After 4+ years of trying, it feels like I could write my own infertility guide. But, I realize many couples are starting their efforts to conceive and could use any helpful facts. Plus, I might always learn something new!   I received this article with information provided by Dr. Isabelle Ryan and www.PacificFertilityCenter.com presenting 6 overlooked habits that can give a couple the edge of achieving pregnancy.

Can Every Day Habits Age Your Fertility?

You want to do everything you can to stay healthy and become pregnant. But can “too much of a good thing” actually backfire? When taken to an extreme, certain healthy habits may do exactly that. With a little care, however, you can prevent problems. 

1. Avoid hot tubs and saunas. “Yes, it's important to relax, but avoid these methods of relaxation when trying to become pregnant. Raising your core body temperature too high may increase the risk of birth defects, miscarriage and low sperm counts,” says Dr. Isabelle Ryan, a board-certified reproductive endocrinologist and infertility specialist at pacific Fertility Center in San Francisco. 
2. Exercise, but don’t overdo it.   Not only can very intense workouts raise your core body temperature, but in women they may also cause irregular menstrual cycles and hormonal imbalances.  “Use your best judgment on hot, humid days. Cool down between intensive workouts. In most cases, however, reasonable but vigorous exercise may actually help you become pregnant,” advises Dr. Ryan. 
3. Protect against cycling risks. Leisurely recreational biking shouldn't pose a big problem. But serious endurance cycling may increase the risk of male infertility by overheating the groin area or creating hormonal imbalances.  Racing saddles or a poorly fitting bicycle seat may also affect the testicles, but pain should provide a warning before you get into big trouble.
4. Maintain a healthy weight.  According to the Nurses Health Study, women with the lowest, as well as the highest, body mass index (BMI) were most likely to experience problems with infertility.  You need about 22 percent body fat to maintain normal menstrual function.
5. Rethink dairy—for now.  In general, a low-fat diet is laudable. But here's another surprising finding from the Nurses Health Study: Women who consumed a lot of low-fat dairy products, such as nonfat milk, were more likely to experience fertility problems than those who did not. Having a daily serving or two of dairy products made from whole milk appears to protect against ovulatory infertility. Just watch out for the extra calories.
6. Know your vitamin RDA. Sure, certain vitamins and minerals are essential to your overall health. Some may even help you get pregnant and protect your unborn baby. But, if you have a habit of taking mega doses of vitamins, be sure to discuss this with your doctor. You need to know safe recommended daily allowances.www.PacificFertilityCenter.com

Top ten things to know before purchasing a Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor

Hey girls (or guys)!  I'm sure many of you along your fertility journey have been considering the purchase of a fertility monitor. Or maybe you've heard of one, but don't know what the heck it does. I was blessed to be gifted with an early generation Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor (actually Clearplan) also known as CBEFM/CBFM.

I'm sure many of you are wondering what it is like to use one, how accurate they are, and whether or not it is worth 200 bucks or more.  There are a variety of fertility monitors out there. From what I can tell of most, they are effective at helping you pinpoint ovulation, and generally more accurate (or at least convenient) than an OPK.

First, I want to say that my first cycle using my CBEFM, I achieved pregnancy. Although that cycle ended with a miscarriage, I do not think the CBEFM is to blame. In fact, I know I would not have done any baby-dancing around my peak days had it not been for the CBEFM. Miscarriages happen.  Sometimes we don't know why. Again, one reason I continue to use my CBEFM is that I know personally that it WORKS!




That being said, here are some top ten little known facts about your CBEFM that you might want to consider before purchasing. Also, it was REALLY hard to stick to 10, which is why I have so many sub-bullets.

1. One box of 30 test sticks does not necessarily last 3 months
1. This is because most women who are desperate enough to purchase one of these suckers may not have your classic "28 day" cycle with CD14, or may have troubles ovulating at all. 
2. CBEFM estimates an average woman will need 10 sticks per cycle, however, since it's memory banks have no idea how long your cycle is the first time, it will prompt for test sticks at CD6. If you KNOW you regularly ovulate past CD16, wait to test until at least 10 days before your earliest known O date. 
2. CBEFMs are calibrated for cycle lengths between 21 and 44 days. 
1. If you are regularly anovulatory, or often have cycles below 21 days and above 44 days, this particular monitor may not be worth investing in. You will be basically pouring money down the toilet with the number of test sticks you will go through without any sort of change in your reading. 
3. Depending on your testing habits, you might skip a Peak reading.
1. Part of this may be whether you are anovulatory that cycle, but if you start testing too late or perhaps skip a test too close to Peak, you might see one or two Highs and then a Low with no Peak. It does not necessarily mean you did not ovulate.
4. Most CBEFM models will automatically give you a pattern of Peak, High, Low after your initial Peak
1. So don't waste your sticks! Once you see a Peak, you are DONE testing. The tricky little bugger will still ask for sticks though. CBEFM is huuuungggggryyy!
5. You have a 6 hour testing window that depends on what time you reset your CBEFM. (3 hours before set time, and 3 hours after)
1. CBEFM realllly want your first morning pee. So, if you are a classic BBT charter like me, you might make it your habit to press the m button around the time you temp. But this is a sweet feature, because how many times are you worried about messing up your temp because you got up to pee 2 hours before your temp time? 
2. You really can test with morning pee. If you find OPK testing difficult because the majority of tests require mid-morning to late afternoon pee, this monitor is for you!
3. Don't you just hate trying to find a stall to test in at work and figuring out how to sneak your test back to your desk without messing up the reading?
6. You DO NOT have to wait for the little m light to flash before resetting your cycle.
1. Although, it is so annoying when it starts to flash a week before you know to expect AF.
2. Also, you only have 5 days to set your new cycle date. So you can wait up to 4 days after first AF to reset (just keep holding down m button until you see the CD day you want). Otherwise, you miss that cycle or risk it being off if you reset within 7 days after your AF starts.
7. CBEFMs retain memory of your last 3 cycles (most models, newer models may have different features).
1. Why is this important? Well, this is what makes a CBEFM more accurate. After your first test cycle, it will adjust the day it asks for your first test stick. So if your last few cycles show a later O date, it will start asking for sticks closer to CD8/9 to prevent you from wasting sticks.
2. The first day most CBEFM models will ask for testing ranges between CD6 and CD9.
1. Again, if you regularly O on CD 21-24, you might wait until 10 days before earliest O date if you want to really stretch that box of sticks out 3 cycles. 
3. You cannot get it to read your test stick before it asks! Don't try. If you don't see a little flashing test stick with an arrow to the right, you will just get an error signal. 
8. You can only "sorta" read the CBEFM test sticks
1. No, they are not interchangeable with the CBEFM digital OPKs (unless someone knows differently?)
2. The lines on the sticks are not the same as a regular OPK. The line closest to the tip away from the wick that picks up pee is your estrogen line.
3. The line closest to the wick that picks up pee is your LH line.
4. So, you can look and see if your LH line is darkening, but it may not necessarily be as dark or darker than the estrogen line for Peak.
5. In my experience, the LH line and Estrogen line will be around the same color at Peak, but sometimes not. I have had so many varying "peak" sticks, that sometimes it looks like a Low stick from the cycle before. *shrugs*
6. 
9. Take out the batteries if you do not intend to use for a few cycles!
1. If you leave the batteries in, when you turn it back on again, you will get CD99 (because it doesn't go higher than 100 days). This is important because it will seriously skew your cycle memory and make testing weird. 
2. When you put your batteries back in, the monitor will give you the last CD you were on before you took the batteries out.
1. I just put batteries back in after maybe a year of testing, and it gave me CD24 or something. 
10. You can use a CBEFM that has had previous owners*
1. Please read the cautions under CBEFM FAQ
2. Please visit my post with picture-by-picture steps of how to reset the CBEFM to clear its memory and start anew.
3. Also a good idea if you are re-starting a CBEFM after previous pregnancy or months of disuse.

CBEFM Stick analysis time!

As I near April 2013 (6 month mark past last depo provera shot), I am starting to see more regular cycles. For now, "regular cycles" mean that I have a very, very light flow for about 5-7 days (usually with spotting beforehand) and that my cycles are now lasting more than 21 days and under 44. I need this range because otherwise, my CBEFM is useless to me.

*Check the fine print ladies, CBEFMs are calibrated to work for cycles that have a length between 21-44 days.

Anyhow, in the past few months since I stopped depo provera shot, I've been taking the occasional CBEFM test stick to see if my LH line is even there. Most cycles, it has been MIA. I started taking tests yesterday, and welllllll.......



Here are my two tests from CD13 and CD14 (I started late because I believe I will ovulate later in my cycle per previous ones).  I was ill recently, and had to discard or just didn't take some temps due to fever. My current temps are average post-O temps for me, but if you look at the pics from my current cycle vs the one below from around this time last year, there IS an LH line (far left, closest to the wick).  This gives me hope that I may ovulate this cycle, or perhaps despite my fever ovulated during my illness. Although it is common for our bodies to postpone O if we get sick too close to O date.

Current Cycle (2/01/2013)


I took the above photo while CD 14 was still drying. CD 13 and CD 14 looked about the same when wet, but it is hard to see CD13 in the photo.

Test stick on 02/28/12

Bee Fertile Giveaway complete *UPDATE WINNER ANNOUNCED*

The Bee Fertile Royal Jelly giveaway is complete! I have emailed the selected winner to inform her that she won. Please check your email/junk boxes for an email and respond within 7 days. Once the winner has accepted I will update with her name here!



photo rating

I'll be sending your prize either Monday or Tuesday! Thanks for all who participated.

Self-Fertility Massage DVD Review

I was the lucky recipient of the Self Fertility Massage DVD by Hethir Rodiriguez, CMT, MH  (Certified Massage Therapist & Master Herbalist).

If you are wondering if self-fertility massage is for you, this is a list of possible conditions that Hethir stated it was most helpful for:

Menstrual cramps

Scar Tissue

Blocked Fallopian tubes

Poor Circulation

Unexplained Infertility

Cysts

Endometriosis

PCOS

Hethir also suggest that this massage could benefit anyone seeking to improve their reproductive health.

I just made time to sit and watch it, and darn if one of the cautions was not to use when on your period! But, I take this as a sign I can watch it all the way through and soak in the information without being impatient to start.

I will start with the two cautions given during the video: Do NOT perform self-fertility massage while you are menstruating. Do NOT perform self-fertility massage if you are pregnant or think you may be pregnant.

There are six parts to the DVD:

Introduction

Reproductive Anatomy

Castor Oil Therapy

Self-Fertility Massage Introduction

Accupressure & Reflexology

Recap & Summary

I really appreciated that the introduction provided a thorough, but concise explanation of the benefits of self-fertility massage, how it works to benefit each organ system and how this relates to fertility as a whole. During the massage, you are not only massaging your reproductive organs, but your digestive system and liver. At first, you may wonder, “What’s my stomach have to do with infertility?” but Hethir gives an explanation of how each system is connected to improve fertility and overall health. I am a big fan of whole body healing and I think Hethir explained it without a whole lot of medical mumbo-jumbo, but easy to understand terms.

In the Reproductive Anatomy section, Hethir provides various diagrams of the internal organs that will be addressed with self-fertility massage and explains how each system interacts to improve fertility. This is also where she explains how the massage works on different systems and how this relates to improving fertility.

I really loved having a visual step by step of how to apply Castor Oil packs. She offered a lot of tips from someone who has experience and I liked seeing what she meant by saturated.

**FYI—Tried to find Castor Oil at Walgreens—it’s in the laxative section! And the bottle sold was perhaps 3-5 oz. Much cheaper online!***

The self-fertility massage introduction gives step by step instructions with a visual of how to perform. Hethir reminds you of appropriate procedures and reminds you what organs/systems this massage is addressing. The very first technique is one I had read about when searching for insomnia cures at this website. I think the most valuable thing I will take from this DVD is how to find one’s ovaries. I could never be sure I knew where they were, but during the massage she gives you a “handy” technique to locate them. (Yes, that’s a pun. I apologize for my punny humor, I get it from my dad). She goes through a variety of techniques, but overall it doesn’t seem to take very long. I do see this as a way to relax and take care of yourself as you continue (or start) your fertility journey.

The Accupressure & Reflexology section describes the benefits and theories behind acupressure and how to apply to each area of the foot that will benefit each organ system for fertility. I was worried it would be hard to do, and those of us with poor flexibility will have to stretch a little, but since Hethir shows all of the massages performed on herself, you get an idea of what would be required to do a self-performed massage.

The Re-Cap and Summary section could be valuable as a refresher. Since she goes through the moves here without the explanations, it could be used as a reminder of how to perform each technique at your own pace.

I can’t wait for my period to be over so I can get started on this myself. I have an old flannel shirt that I am going to use for the castor oil treatment (I will probably cut off the sleeves, or just use the back).  Right now I have only the small bottle of castor oil I got at Walgreen’s. We’ll see how many sessions it lasts. She recommends doing self-fertility massage at least 4 times per week. I’m thinking I’ll be lucky to get one weeks worth of treatment from the Castor Oil bottle. I could also see this as a great thing to do right before bed, to relax.

Dream a little dream of me....

Last night I had a vivid, amazing dream. I dreamt that I was giving birth (thankfully did not dream any of the pain). I had a beautiful baby boy. It hurt to look at him, he was so beautiful. At some point, my SIL commented on the fact they were letting me out really soon. I laughed and explained that I had really stayed longer, and explained the usually time frame for vaginal birth vs. caesarean birth. Then I pointed out that SIL 2 was long in the hospital due to having a fever.   I can't recall why I was there longer than the 1/3 days, and I can't recall if I had a vaginal/caesarean delivery.

For some reason we decided to name him Killian (sorry, Summer!).  Then sometime into the dream I realized a friend had named her boy that and started to change my mind. Well, next part of the dream, for some reason my husband had to go home ahead of me, and I was struggling with the baby seat. The baby was in the seat already, and I was trying to fasten it in the backseat, but it appeared to be larger than the seat as the bottom was hanging off the edge. I still remember this powerful feeling of love when looking at the baby.

Then this is where dreams get weird like they do. Some sort of magical power/alien force was taking over.  Somehow it was eliminating children. My baby was taken, but not yet gone, and I was trying my best to save him. I remember the adults were trying to get on the invading forces good side so that they wouldn't be eliminated either, but I was having difficulty as my main knowledge/skills pertained to children, and since the children were taken/dead, my skills were meaningless. I was trying to cover in a different way, so they wouldn't get rid of me either.  (We watched Once Upon A Time right before bed).

As weird as the end of the dream was, I still remember that overwhelming love and joy that I felt when looking at my baby in the dream. It was so powerful, it is hard to feel sad that it was just a dream.  I'm trying to record my dreams more often, because I often have deja vu that reminds me of something I dreamt. I'm hoping I might be able to prove it if I get this deja vu again. 

Luness Fertility iPhone Application

I have finally been able to test out the Luness fertility monitor app on my iPhone. I mistakenly thought the light portion would start on the day of the first peak on the timeline. But, it starts before that. So, I would make sure you click the purple Luness logo every night to ensure you don't miss the start of the light therapy.

The first few nights were OK, but my alarm clock that charges my phone only works sometimes, and to prevent it from quitting in the middle of the night, it would be best to hook it up to a reliable charger.

My next barrier is that my husband can't tolerate the medium to high end of the light spectrum. Even though it does not necessarily face him at night, he finds it difficult to sleep with that much reflective light facing him. Although, if I ensured to sleep on his opposite side so he doesn't face the light, he might not mind. He weirdly suggested switching sides of the bed, which is highly irregular. So I will have to see if he would be willing to endure a few nights of the highest light or some other compromise.

Other than that I won't be able continue to assess the effectiveness of the application until I can use it fully. 

Sorry for the absence.

Okay, I don't know how many of you care, but I have been absent from blogging for awhile because my Mac was doing weird stuff with my text boxes, even in Word.  When I would go to type anything, even signing in for stuff, the text would suddenly start highlighting the current word I was typing. It got so bad, I could barely type a login, let alone the password, without every letter being followed by the highlighting or otherwise moving the cursor.

I did a LOT of virus scans. Found a lot of bad cookies and other stuff. Removed that. Restarted a few times. This helped, but I really think another factor was my trackpad bar is kind of sticky. Every now and again, I would just press it on either side to see if that unstuck it. So far so good. This is the first post I've made without it occurring. I'm starting to see light at the end of the tunnel.

And I have so much to post about!

• My experience using the Luness application on my phone.
• I started acupuncture!
• My technique to take the horrible, horrible smelling/tasting herbs I received from my acupuncturist. 
• I might *finally* be getting to "pre-O" temps instead of these crazy high temps.

So, I will try to follow-up with more posts in detail of the items listed above. Also, if anyone would like more info on one topic first, please feel free to comment. I aim to please!

Regular flow achieved!

So, I started having spotting a week or so into re-starting my Dong Quai tincture. This is the first full flow type of AF I have had since stopping Depo Provera. I had light flow for about 3 days and then 2 days of spotting. I restarted my Luness application, so I will be using that in conjunction with my Dong Quai and BBT. Here's hoping I detect ovulation this cycle! I have noticed temps are still hanging around no lower than 98.3. April will be the six month mark (which most researchers say is the earliest Depo Provera leaves the system).  Here's hoping I can hit ovulation before then, but with my temps still hovering at my usual coverline temps, I'm not sure I have expelled all of the Depo Provera yet. 

Bee Fertile Royal Jelly Giveaway!

Hello those in the blogosphere! When I tested Bee Fertile Supplements, I was left with a full jar of unopened Royal Jelly. So, this will be the first Motherhood Wanted giveaway, courtesy of Rafflecopter!  The prize will be 1 jar of Bee Fertile Royal Jelly. Due to shipping costs, open to residents of the US only.

If you’d like a refresher on Bee Fertile product, check the posts below:

What does it mean when your cycle is messed up?

My First Cycle on Bee Fertile

Irregular Cycles and RE Appointment

Wrapping Up the Bee Fertile Reviews

So, follow the directions below to get entries into the giveaway. It’s starting January 14^thand will end on Valentine’s Day!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Depo Provera and BBT charting

Last month I noted a trend of high temps that are generally in my post-O range. I had not temped originally, so it had looked as though I had ovulated. My average coverline is between 97.9-98.2.  Majority of temps last month were 98.2 or higher. I know to expect changes as the Depo Provera levels in my system decrease.

I have noticed that when I take the Dong Quai supplement, my PMS symptoms go through the roof.  Depo Provera as birth control is a synthetic form of progesterone. Progesterone is the hormone known to increase basal body temperature (BBT) in the luteal phase. This leads me to the hypothesis that while the Depo Provera is in my system, I might expect to see consistent post-O temps without a bi-phasic pattern. So far this holding true.

I have also noticed that I am having what I generally classify as heavy spotting for about the length of my period. So, I am now charting these as LIGHT flow days. When I stacked my charts, I saw that my October cycle was 27 days, November 30 days, and current December cycle is at 13 days. I've had flat temps lately, and I thought my BBT was needing a replacement battery, but I started to have varying temps, so I'm going to keep it for now.

Let's see what we can see!

If anyone with previous Depo Provera injections has charted their temps, please feel free to comment on whether you also experienced this consistent high temps.