So if you look at my charts above, you'll see that for two days in a row I've had my temp jump .3 degrees for a total of .6 from 4DPO!!. I was shocked when I saw the temp this morning, 98.9! Other than being close to fever, I haven't had a temp that high, even post-O. Although I technically still have bronchitis, I don't think I am feverish. It was a little warm in the bedroom last night and we sleep with a down cover year round. So ((shrugs)) I dunno, it may go down tomorrow.
Another thing I noticed is that I seem to have a temp dip at 4DPO. This chart, my last chart it was at 4DPO and my m/c chart was at 3DPO.
Lately I've had some vivid dreams. This morning I was half-awake, but dreaming that this old lady (who was supposed to be DH's Mom!) was advising us about buying houses. She started talking about credit scores and stuff and I told her "We actually have good credit" and I said that last bit OUT LOUD! I woke DH, he thought I was talking to him! Really weird. And I said it clearly too, I didn't seem to mumble it, which is weird. Normally when I talk in my sleep I'm totally out and have no idea I'm talking.
I don't really think I'm pregnant though because last time I was I would get so dizzy from low blood pressure. So I don't think I am this time.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
VENT!
So I was thinking about when we started TTC. After my last ECHO (which was taken when I was sick) the doc wasn't too pleased and wants to get another one. If I hadn't even opened my mouth and asked about TTC, he would have set it for 6 months and probably not mentioned anything about whether I should TTC.
BUT, I did ask, and they decided I should NOT TTC for now, and thankfully one of my doctors decided it could be moved up to November instead of 6 months from now.
My vent is that when I first decided I was going to TTC (2 years ago) I worked with ALLLLL of my doctors (in Texas) to get my health--mental and physical--ready for this. My cardiologist said that this would be the BEST time to start TTC regarding my heart. My mental health doctors even though they seemed to be against it, were willing to help me reduce my meds slowly so I could transition off of them easily once I got pregnant. However....
Not ONE of my psychiatrists in Texas mentioned any possibility that the side effects of one of my meds could make me infertile. They didn't suggest testing for it. I had to be the one to finally ask after 6-12 months of charting with no O!!!!!!!!
I will say that my current psychiatrist did mention it, but like a fool, I discounted that "it would happen to me." I was so stupid and stubborn and blind. And when I was finally convinced that it was the medication, the weather was so bad that taking me off of it could have seriously affected my mood!!!!!!
So now, when finally I'm ovulating regularly, my psych meds are perfect, MY HEART is the problem!!!!!!!! Grrrr.....****stomp****....AAARRRGGH!
I know life is unfair. I know things will happen when God plans for it, but why not now? I think the hardest part of waiting is not knowing IF I will ever get a baby. It's like, if I knew that it would happen, then it wouldn't be so hard. But that would affect my behavior right? Then I might not do what needs to happen to get that baby. See the vicious circle? It's why we mere mortals can't know our future.
BUT, I did ask, and they decided I should NOT TTC for now, and thankfully one of my doctors decided it could be moved up to November instead of 6 months from now.
My vent is that when I first decided I was going to TTC (2 years ago) I worked with ALLLLL of my doctors (in Texas) to get my health--mental and physical--ready for this. My cardiologist said that this would be the BEST time to start TTC regarding my heart. My mental health doctors even though they seemed to be against it, were willing to help me reduce my meds slowly so I could transition off of them easily once I got pregnant. However....
Not ONE of my psychiatrists in Texas mentioned any possibility that the side effects of one of my meds could make me infertile. They didn't suggest testing for it. I had to be the one to finally ask after 6-12 months of charting with no O!!!!!!!!
I will say that my current psychiatrist did mention it, but like a fool, I discounted that "it would happen to me." I was so stupid and stubborn and blind. And when I was finally convinced that it was the medication, the weather was so bad that taking me off of it could have seriously affected my mood!!!!!!
So now, when finally I'm ovulating regularly, my psych meds are perfect, MY HEART is the problem!!!!!!!! Grrrr.....****stomp****....AAARRRGGH!
I know life is unfair. I know things will happen when God plans for it, but why not now? I think the hardest part of waiting is not knowing IF I will ever get a baby. It's like, if I knew that it would happen, then it wouldn't be so hard. But that would affect my behavior right? Then I might not do what needs to happen to get that baby. See the vicious circle? It's why we mere mortals can't know our future.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
It just makes no sense!!!!
Ok, I know logically that those temps were likely fever temps and not related to O. I also know that if you somewhat disregard my chart before, oh, CD19 that it looks like the perfect O chart. Nice steady rise after a low dip. Also my CM and CP info more closely correlates.
But, I haven't often experienced mittleschmerz, but what I know about it is
This is just my mind messing with me giving me that kernel of hope that I am 8DPO and that this is some kind of implantation feeling and the bleeding was implantation spotting...and so on and so forth.
I know I'm supposed to be waiting. I know it's a crazy dream. But I also know I'll be slightly disappointed when AF shows this month.
But, I haven't often experienced mittleschmerz, but what I know about it is
- It usually occurs BEFORE a woman ovulates
- It last 2 days max...I think most information I read says it lasts for a few hours at most.
This is just my mind messing with me giving me that kernel of hope that I am 8DPO and that this is some kind of implantation feeling and the bleeding was implantation spotting...and so on and so forth.
I know I'm supposed to be waiting. I know it's a crazy dream. But I also know I'll be slightly disappointed when AF shows this month.
Now I'm 8DPO?
So, I was fiddling around with my FF chart yesterday. I decided to remove the "fever" on my two 99 degree temps last week. I did this because FF gave me a note that it believes I had ovulated sometime between CD10 and CD18, but there wasn't enough info to determine. So here was my chart before, when fever was added:
And here is my chart now without fever checked on the high temps:
The issue is that the BDing we did on CD11 was sort of a surprise so I didn't use contraception. So now there is a possibility that I could be pregnant this cycle!!! Oops!
Who knows really? Today I entered a temp of 98.5 (you can see both charts by clicking the tickers above) so it could be possible that I ovulated on CD19. Which would be fine b/c I used protection during that BD session. I just altered FF to put the fever temps back and now it changed my O date to CD19!!
I think this is much more likely because I was sick with the flu those two days I had the 99 temps. Later in the day my temps lowered to 98 something, but who knows? So, with the new change, I most likely am NOT pregnant. It makes more sense b/c the spotting was likely due to Ovulation and I seemed to be having ovary pains the last two days or so. AND normally my breast tenderness starts a few days after I O, not a week later. Right now they're starting to get tender. So I think I'm good this month and won't end up preggers. We'll see I guess! Not that I wouldn't love a June baby, but the doctors wouldn't be too happy!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Now it's bronchitis
So, I tried to go back to work this week. I thought I was getting better. Then today my chest seemed to be exploding in pain. So I left work early and DH took me to the ER. Diagnosis: Bronchitis. I've got some meds and now I'm definitely staying home until I feel tip-top.
On the flipside, since we're Waiting to Try to Conceive (WTTC) I don't have to worry so much about ovulating. I am still charting to keep up with how often I O and stuff. I don't want to waste the test sticks on CBEFM so I've stopped using that.
But I did notice some pink tinged CM today. Maybe I'm ovulating today or tomorrow. Maybe I should review the section in TCOYF about pregnancy prevention. We'll see.
On the flipside, since we're Waiting to Try to Conceive (WTTC) I don't have to worry so much about ovulating. I am still charting to keep up with how often I O and stuff. I don't want to waste the test sticks on CBEFM so I've stopped using that.
But I did notice some pink tinged CM today. Maybe I'm ovulating today or tomorrow. Maybe I should review the section in TCOYF about pregnancy prevention. We'll see.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Sick, yucky
Well, of course I have a high on my fertility monitor! Which is weird because I'm sick as a dog right now. And I stayed home from work today. Just as I got up, DH calls and asks me to take him to the ER because he was getting a kidney stone! Hasn't really been our summer.
I don't feel well and I have a horrendous cough that is making my throat raw. Yucky.
I don't feel well and I have a horrendous cough that is making my throat raw. Yucky.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Putting on the Brakes for TTC
I had my annual cardiologist appointment today. After the ECHO, the doctor explained that due to some concerns they would like to have another ECHO done in 6 months. I happened to have the flu today when they did the test.
I asked if he had any concerns about my trying to conceive before the next ECHO. He asked if I could wait until the test to see what the results were. I also explained I was having more frequent heart palpitations. My doctor consulted with another one and they said they could move the Echo to 3 months and also gave me a portable EKG machine to use when I was having concerning symptoms.
So, DH and I have agreed to stop TTCing until we hear the results of test in November.
Until then I'm going to focus on losing some weight, getting some more exercise to be ready for the big day. I probably won't do any testing for ovulation while we're waiting, but will probably still take my pre-natals, B6, Folic Acid and also charting with just temps. Just to track my ovulation and luteal phase length.
I'll keep you posted on any changes.
I asked if he had any concerns about my trying to conceive before the next ECHO. He asked if I could wait until the test to see what the results were. I also explained I was having more frequent heart palpitations. My doctor consulted with another one and they said they could move the Echo to 3 months and also gave me a portable EKG machine to use when I was having concerning symptoms.
So, DH and I have agreed to stop TTCing until we hear the results of test in November.
Until then I'm going to focus on losing some weight, getting some more exercise to be ready for the big day. I probably won't do any testing for ovulation while we're waiting, but will probably still take my pre-natals, B6, Folic Acid and also charting with just temps. Just to track my ovulation and luteal phase length.
I'll keep you posted on any changes.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Ugh...
Yucky. I feel nauseous. Normally this would make me consider pregnancy, but I JUST had my period. At first I thought it was due to the constant cramping (which hasn't stopped with my period). Yay miscarriage! The benefits just keep on rolling in!
But, the nausea today was a bit pervasive. Then DH tells me that was how he felt that way when he first got sick last week. Great.
But, the nausea today was a bit pervasive. Then DH tells me that was how he felt that way when he first got sick last week. Great.
RESOLVE--Infertility Awareness
I know I'm, oh, about 4 months too late to start talking about infertility awareness, but I suddenly truly realized how damaging it is. I was reading another poor girl's post on TMP, about how upset she was that she hasn't gotten pregnant yet---she's on her 3rd month trying.
At first, I felt exasperated. Because I'm one of the LTTCER's (Long Term TTCer) who has put in 24+ months in efforts to try to conceive...this may be very snobby of me, and it is hard to say WHEN someone has the right to complain that it is been too long, but 3 months just seemed WAY too early. Plus, it seems that about 1/2 of the women who make that complaint this early will get pregnant in another two months or so. Mostly, it makes me think about how long it is taking ME to get (and stay) preggers and my trying not to lose hope. I just kept thinking, "well, if she is finding it hard now, wait until another 10 months come an go and see where she is at."
But then I really started thinking about it. It is NOT her fault that she believes pregnancy should come easily. Infertility is a taboo topic in our culture. It causes most couples starting a family to accept the myth that "it's easy to start a family" or that "you're not normal if you can't get pregnant right away." That, plus all of the sex education given as a teen about how easy it is to get pregnant and how it is important to ALWAYS protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy leads a couple to expect that all they have to do is select the month they want to deliver, count back 10 months or so to stop any birth control and get ready for their new baby.
(To any teens or women seeking to prevent pregancy reading this, it IS very important to protect yourself because one thing I have learned is that the pregnancy fairy usually chooses when and how she grants wishes, and it is usually not to those who expect it. Let's say she has bad aim)
Those who haven't experienced it don't know how to deal with it, or are judgmental or political (aren't there already too many children in the world?). Those who are (or have) experiencing it don't talk about it because 1) They don't want to be (or have been) judged by others and 2) They feel alone....and that perpetuates that taboo!! Their belief of being alone, no one understanding, shames them into not talking about it openly with others.
I then felt resolve myself to remember that infertility is misunderstood and this is why so many women blame themselves and feel like a failure after 2 or 3 months of trying!!!
I had seen a lot of blog posts about this in April or May during National Infertility Week/Month and checked out the RESOLVE website. This is a non-profit organization that is dedicated to educating people about infertility.
I found a startling statistic--Infertility affects 1 in 8 couples of reproductive age. 1 in 8. Think of 8 couples you know of reproductive age. If you yourself aren't infertile, that means one of those 8 may be. And they are suffering in silence.
I firmly believe in educating ourselves, which is why when I start most projects I try to find out as much as I can. But, many people don't think to or don't know where to look. So, I want to do what I can to help educate others on infertility. Hopefully one day it will become a conversation where it isn't assumed to happen to an unfortunate few but as a prevalent issue among our society.
I especially love the resources the RESOLVE site has for discussing infertility. It gives several good options for responding to questions others ask regarding family-building efforts. Check it out!!
At first, I felt exasperated. Because I'm one of the LTTCER's (Long Term TTCer) who has put in 24+ months in efforts to try to conceive...this may be very snobby of me, and it is hard to say WHEN someone has the right to complain that it is been too long, but 3 months just seemed WAY too early. Plus, it seems that about 1/2 of the women who make that complaint this early will get pregnant in another two months or so. Mostly, it makes me think about how long it is taking ME to get (and stay) preggers and my trying not to lose hope. I just kept thinking, "well, if she is finding it hard now, wait until another 10 months come an go and see where she is at."
But then I really started thinking about it. It is NOT her fault that she believes pregnancy should come easily. Infertility is a taboo topic in our culture. It causes most couples starting a family to accept the myth that "it's easy to start a family" or that "you're not normal if you can't get pregnant right away." That, plus all of the sex education given as a teen about how easy it is to get pregnant and how it is important to ALWAYS protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy leads a couple to expect that all they have to do is select the month they want to deliver, count back 10 months or so to stop any birth control and get ready for their new baby.
(To any teens or women seeking to prevent pregancy reading this, it IS very important to protect yourself because one thing I have learned is that the pregnancy fairy usually chooses when and how she grants wishes, and it is usually not to those who expect it. Let's say she has bad aim)
Those who haven't experienced it don't know how to deal with it, or are judgmental or political (aren't there already too many children in the world?). Those who are (or have) experiencing it don't talk about it because 1) They don't want to be (or have been) judged by others and 2) They feel alone....and that perpetuates that taboo!! Their belief of being alone, no one understanding, shames them into not talking about it openly with others.
I then felt resolve myself to remember that infertility is misunderstood and this is why so many women blame themselves and feel like a failure after 2 or 3 months of trying!!!
I had seen a lot of blog posts about this in April or May during National Infertility Week/Month and checked out the RESOLVE website. This is a non-profit organization that is dedicated to educating people about infertility.
I found a startling statistic--Infertility affects 1 in 8 couples of reproductive age. 1 in 8. Think of 8 couples you know of reproductive age. If you yourself aren't infertile, that means one of those 8 may be. And they are suffering in silence.
I firmly believe in educating ourselves, which is why when I start most projects I try to find out as much as I can. But, many people don't think to or don't know where to look. So, I want to do what I can to help educate others on infertility. Hopefully one day it will become a conversation where it isn't assumed to happen to an unfortunate few but as a prevalent issue among our society.
I especially love the resources the RESOLVE site has for discussing infertility. It gives several good options for responding to questions others ask regarding family-building efforts. Check it out!!
New Template!!!
I usually just change templates without comment, but was so excited about this one. I've loved the templates that look like they're made with fabric or paper (like a scrapbook page). I was at a friends blog (Kelly from TMP) and really liked her background. Then I saw a link in the top corner to the site she found it at. I went to look and fell in love!!!! There are so many and I swear I could change it out once a week! Some nice pink/blue ones with variations so that might be what I choose once I get my BFP and eventually find out the gender.
So, just wanted to share. You can click the link in the top left corner to visit it yourself or go to Shabby Blogs
So, just wanted to share. You can click the link in the top left corner to visit it yourself or go to Shabby Blogs
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Have you ever?
On a lighter note, I thought I would post this list that I found on fellow TMP members blog Ms. Polka Dottie.
So, if you want to follow along, copy this list and post in your blog, bolding the items you have done. (I count 38!)
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to DisneyWorld
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped--sorta...did this bungee swing thing....lotta fun!
12. Visited Paris....don't think the Charles De Gualle airport counts
13. Watched a lightning storm...grew up around em, couldn't help it.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning--Fried Okra from Church's chicken.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight--what little girl with sisters hasn't?
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill--guilty!
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset--both...no two are ever alike.
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise--I love the cruise life!
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors--Which ones? I'm an American Mutt, I'd have a LOT of places to visit...I have been to Oklahoma (Great-GMA was cherokee)
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language--haven't fully finished, but am learning Arabic
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke--Love to sing!
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight--lovely
46. Been transported in an ambulance--I was a baby, too young to remember
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling--snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain--I think I know what is meant, but it's Seattle, bound to have happened at some point.
53. Played in the mud--this is anytime in life right? I used to LOVE this clay pit near my house....that was the best summer.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies--one brief round
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma--I tried! My cardiologist won't let me!
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter--Over Maui....Awesome
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy--More a memento of my Nano...old Porcelain doll she had in her house and let us play with
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job--does laid off count?
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone--both arms...different times
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper--twice. Once in Jr High for being the Tennis Club's student of the week or something, and once in college for being first in line to buy tickets to see LOTR: (Two Towers?)--I was reading Harry Potter at the time, *snicker*
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox--it's almost a rite of passage
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby--We're working on it!
95. Seen the Alamo in person--it's much smaller than you'd think...much.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone--I'd like to meet the person this is NOT true for...unless they're using semantics.
99. Been stung by a bee....No bees, yellow-jackets....thank GOD I don't remember.
So, if you want to follow along, copy this list and post in your blog, bolding the items you have done. (I count 38!)
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to DisneyWorld
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped--sorta...did this bungee swing thing....lotta fun!
12. Visited Paris....don't think the Charles De Gualle airport counts
13. Watched a lightning storm...grew up around em, couldn't help it.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning--Fried Okra from Church's chicken.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight--what little girl with sisters hasn't?
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill--guilty!
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset--both...no two are ever alike.
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise--I love the cruise life!
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors--Which ones? I'm an American Mutt, I'd have a LOT of places to visit...I have been to Oklahoma (Great-GMA was cherokee)
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language--haven't fully finished, but am learning Arabic
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke--Love to sing!
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight--lovely
46. Been transported in an ambulance--I was a baby, too young to remember
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling--snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain--I think I know what is meant, but it's Seattle, bound to have happened at some point.
53. Played in the mud--this is anytime in life right? I used to LOVE this clay pit near my house....that was the best summer.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies--one brief round
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma--I tried! My cardiologist won't let me!
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter--Over Maui....Awesome
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy--More a memento of my Nano...old Porcelain doll she had in her house and let us play with
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job--does laid off count?
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone--both arms...different times
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper--twice. Once in Jr High for being the Tennis Club's student of the week or something, and once in college for being first in line to buy tickets to see LOTR: (Two Towers?)--I was reading Harry Potter at the time, *snicker*
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox--it's almost a rite of passage
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby--We're working on it!
95. Seen the Alamo in person--it's much smaller than you'd think...much.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone--I'd like to meet the person this is NOT true for...unless they're using semantics.
99. Been stung by a bee....No bees, yellow-jackets....thank GOD I don't remember.
Sorrow...
I know most of this is due to AF beginning (soon I hope). Watching the news certainly isn't helping.
I just saw my psychiatrist and we were discussing how I was coping. I said that I knew that there were likely chromosomal reasons for the m/c and that "If God had wanted the baby to live he would have let it stay" I could barely finish. I broke down.
I want to go to counseling and hope that DH will go with me.
Just. So. Sad.
I just saw my psychiatrist and we were discussing how I was coping. I said that I knew that there were likely chromosomal reasons for the m/c and that "If God had wanted the baby to live he would have let it stay" I could barely finish. I broke down.
I want to go to counseling and hope that DH will go with me.
Just. So. Sad.
I broke down....
and started taking my Progesterone pills. I USUALLY would want to wait it out and let it happen naturally, but I'm becoming SOOOOO impatient! 
So, although the spotting has picked up yesterday, I'm just trying to hurry AF along a bit.
We'll seeeeee! By the way, definite BFN last two days, so I'm very sure I'm not preggers and it's just the wackiness of the chemical messing with my cycle.
So, although the spotting has picked up yesterday, I'm just trying to hurry AF along a bit.
We'll seeeeee! By the way, definite BFN last two days, so I'm very sure I'm not preggers and it's just the wackiness of the chemical messing with my cycle.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Temp drop!
So, this morning I woke at 5:30AM. I think I needed to pee. I was SURE AF had come in the night. I go to pee and my pantiliner is spotless. So I decide to do one more HPT. I thought I saw a shadow of a line, but I think I was just willing it there.
Took my temp at the reg time at 6:45AM and whaddya know, massive temp drop!! Wooohoooo!!! So, I imagine AF should land sometime today or tomorrow. Normally on an ovulatory cycle I wouldn't really want to get AF, but my doc recommended at least one cycle after the m/c to kind of clean the system out so to speak.
So, hopefully today will be CD1, just b/c I love when the CD match the calendar as it is Sept 1st! I do think this AF will be particularly mean and witchy. May be a lot of cramping. I've already had a lot already. So, I guess we'll see.
Took my temp at the reg time at 6:45AM and whaddya know, massive temp drop!! Wooohoooo!!! So, I imagine AF should land sometime today or tomorrow. Normally on an ovulatory cycle I wouldn't really want to get AF, but my doc recommended at least one cycle after the m/c to kind of clean the system out so to speak.
So, hopefully today will be CD1, just b/c I love when the CD match the calendar as it is Sept 1st! I do think this AF will be particularly mean and witchy. May be a lot of cramping. I've already had a lot already. So, I guess we'll see.
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