Well, since I got the news I've been dealing with it. Mostly I just want to get back on the TTC train. Slowly most of my stubborn pregnancy symptoms went away. I kept spotting off and on until today...nothing really. This worries me because now I'm concerned that my miscarriage is incomplete and I'll need to do something to finish it. I read that Evening Primrose Oil (EPO) can help soften the cervix so I've started taking that in the hope that it could help things along.
Yesterday, weirdly I had a flash of pregnancy symptoms again...fatigue, sore back (that's been constant though), sore bb, and some nausea. Also cramping, but like the sore back that has also been a bit of a constant. Today I felt so tired and crampy I didn't go to work. But no bleeding yet. I may have to make an appt with my doctor.
I did take an HPT this morning so I could report the BFN to my doctor. The relieving thing about the BFN is that this quells my illogical hope that somehow, someway the pregnancy would bounce back. It confirms that it is indeed a miscarriage. Another confirmation is the return of the diarrhea, which is another symptoms of early miscarriage.
I just am so impatient...I want the miscarriage to be complete so I can feel whole and ready to move on with TTCing again. I have this unmistakable hope that I will deliver a baby in 2011....insh'allah that is God's wish too. It is up to him when and if I get pregnant. But right now in the midst of this loss I feel hope for a new beginning.
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